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Registering death - Page 12 - Carers UK Forum

Registering death

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
114 posts
BB Your Mum must have had a bl---y big house, and I thought my Mum's was cluttered!
E.
In total she had 15 harmoniums, to start with. Couldn't play any of them due to osteoarthritis, but wouldn't part with them. Scattered through the house and garage. Mu and dad loved Ercol furniture. 60 dining chairs, about 8 dining tables, 10 sideboards, all full, 6 wardrobes, 5 studio couches (two suspended from the rafters in the garage when they ran out of floor space), the list was almost endless. Happily, I sold most of the Ercol via Gumtree for good prices. It took me and my two sons, both well over 6ft, a year to empty it, with me doing it almost every day. The skip driver and I are now on Christian name terms! We tried to find everything a good home, the hospice shop, the Oxfam shop for books, the Salvation Army for bedding (I had a Discovery full of duvets and covers for the SA). What was the point of it all? Possessions were sadly more important, I wasn't even allowed to trim back a plant which over hung the drive and scratched my car, because the plant was more important. (But I got the secateurs out and didn't say anything). Only now it's all over do I realise how mum's behaviour controlled me too, in many ways. However, I very nearly died 12 years ago, and I know that there is no point in having more than you need to be useful. I battled for a future life because I wanted to be with my husband and sons (although sadly husband died 18 months later). I'd rather give most things away and have responsibility for less. I want my "boys" to remember me for all the mad crazy things I've done with them, not the time sorting out my "stuff". All my sewing things can go to Tools for Self Reliance when I'm gone, to do some good in the world. The only other thing I'll leave them to deal with is my Royal Doulton dinner/tea set, enough for about 20 place settings, all matching. Long story!!
bowlingbun wrote:In total she had 15 harmoniums, to start with. Couldn't play any of them due to osteoarthritis, but wouldn't part with them. Scattered through the house and garage. Mum and dad loved Ercol furniture. 60 dining chairs, about 8 dining tables, 10 sideboards, all full, 6 wardrobes, 5 studio couches (two suspended from the rafters in the garage when they ran out of floor space), the list was almost endless....
The only other thing I'll leave them to deal with is my Royal Doulton dinner/tea set, enough for about 20 place settings, all matching. Long story!!
BB it sounds like your mother was a serious hoarder, to the point where it took over her home. Very sad and it's great that you've got a much healthier attitude to possessions.

As for the dinner/tea set, well, its useful and chances are its probably beautiful too. Also, it might hold happy memories of family meals, so your sons might be very pleased to have it one day.

I collect paperweights, but until recently half were tucked away in the cupboard as I had nowhere to display them. I had a choice; either buy a display cabinet or downsize the collection. I downsized, and gave several to the charity shop. I kept my favourites and feel pleased that the others will raise cash for charity and hopefully others will appreciate them. I must admit that there are a few things with emotional strings that I can't seem to shift just yet. Luckily these things don't take up much space, so I will live with the odd bag of clutter here and there, until I'm ready to part with them.

Elaine, I like the idea of buying a special piece of jewellery with some of the inheritance money, I think Mum would approve of that.
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114 posts