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Carers UK Forum • No one cares for unpaid Carers - Page 2
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Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2020 11:26 pm
by thara_1910

Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 4:57 pm
by Cloudygal
Excellent idea Ajay

Have a contact so will email them and see what they say when I suggest it!

Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2020 3:20 pm
by Huegatort
Hi Joe

I've been a Carer for 32 years now and in the last 5 years care for my Husband too. Like many here, I have to be available around the clock, often going out in the middle of the night to my Son's home too.

Despite their problems, I know they both appreciate all I do for them which is good to hear. In saying this because they have never actually cared for someone full time themselves; they won't recognise just how hard it actually is! This is only my opinion of course!


Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2020 3:30 pm
by Huegatort
Hi Maine

I have to say I agree with most of your post, however I resent this statement: It's not a case of no-one cares about unpaid carers...it's a case that many will not stand up for themselves either. Mainly because they believe 'they will get nowhere'...

What I have written is a generalisation and is my personal opinion.

I've been a Carer for many years and have signed countless petitions throughout the years and have written many a letter to various MP's.

Having been a Carer for so long and having known many other Carers; it is not a case of many will not stand up for themselves; have you ever thought that many Carers are so bogged down by their Caring role, physically and mentally exhausted that they do not have anymore fight in them!


Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2020 3:34 pm
by Huegatort
Hi Cloudygirl

I would call it "emotional blackmail" by an uncaring government. They know that a Carer will not leave their Caree at the door of the Social Services, NHS or The Councils.


Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2020 4:29 pm
by Londonbound
I tried fighting but there's just no one to help, you can't get an advocate to help attend meetings.

You can't find out your unpaid carer rights, we have a right to a carers assessment, yes but what else?

I have no idea.

I couldn't find anyone one to help with social services complaints, who should help?

A very lengthy issue and then going to the ombudsman, who helps with that?

We carers just haven't got a chance with no one to fight with us for us, tell us our rights.

Stand up for us in meetings.

I have contacted advocates, never met the advocate instead of providing advocacy just signposted me elsewhere.

To the place I was having problems with who signposted me to the advocate in the first place.

Another advocate didn't turn up for a NHS complaints meeting, never heard from her again.

We are physically and mentally exhausted as stated in another post, just don't have time, if you can't get a break how can you attend endless meetings.

No time to write letters which often aren't answered anyway.

Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2020 5:11 pm
by Harry_14112
Normally I only visit the members forum, but I've just picked up on this thread.
Along with my wife I've been a carer for alnost 50 years, of course my wife did the bulk of the care work for our daughter Julie. Julie is 51 years of age and is severely disabled. Julie suffers from cerebral palsy. This took on a serious problem when she was unable to stand or even sit up without support. Julie can manage to feed herself, but continually drops things, she also has mild learning difficulties. Up until approx 14 years ago we took our daughter all over the World. Now of course we cannot travel anywhere
I'm 84 my wife being 81 our daughter will soon be 52, we all talk about our caring roles, but at the moment ours, or I should say my caring roll has become very difficult. My wife is not well and as in fact just returned home after a 5 day spell in hospital. She has been suffering with two large stones in her bile duct which have been causing excruciating pain, she was scheduled for an operation to remove these stones just prior to Christmas, but this was postponed at the last minute as the hospital said they had discovered the potential of an serious internal bleed. My wifes condition has worsened with losing over 5 stone in weight due to her refusing food a week ago she was rushed into hopital, which left me as the sole carer for our daughter,
I contacted Social Services saying I urgently required a carer to come mornings and evenings so as to see to my daughters hygine, despite continually contacting S.S we or I should say I are still not receiving any help from S.S, they say they are having difficulty in providing a carer. This has left me now having to see to my daughters toiletry needs, dressing/ undressing and fitting incontinant pads.
My wife is now back at home. but is still not able to help with Julie, really in conclusion payment for caring is the least of my problems at the moment I just need help which is not forthcoming as yet. I must admit if my wife was well enough she would also be shouting out loud about no finacial help with caring.

Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2020 5:20 pm
by bowlingbun
My son hasn't had a finalised Needs Assessment etc. for four years, yet Social Services told the Ombudsman that I was just a "serial complainer" and they were considering sanctions against me! My file, I'm sure, says "Beware Attilla the Hun" yet I have a simple goal for my son, that he is Safe, Happy, and Healthy. I have a principle of never asking anyone to do anything other than what they should be doing anyhow, according to policy and legislation.
No one could have fought harder than me!

Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2020 2:46 am
by Maine
Hiya Huegatort, I really didn't mean to offend you..or anyone else here.
When I said many carers don't help themselves, I do know carers are bogged down by either the amount of care they do or the lack of support they get. I just see that, for example, the petition Cloudygirl put up( and this is only 1 example) that there are only 15,000 odd signatures and there are 4.5 million carers. Many aren't signing..so how can any debate get to be heard in parliament. This is just one example of many disregarding petitions alone. I am aware also that carers are being isolated and not helped properly or at all, by the Government.
If you look at things, even here, many carers come and ask advice and go and only a handful get involved generally and this is the main site for carers..in the UK.
Carers need to get together and fight the wrongs being done (and these wrongs are widespread, within social care and health). The wrongs affect most caring. The more carers that do help themselves (especially speaking up), the less the government can ignore, and even though most especially longterm carers are worn down and bogged down...We need a stronger, larger amount of people saying the same thing. I think most are looking in and saying nothing and it is fear preventing them from getting involved. Fear that they will be targetted by the ''caring' organizations....and no the caring organizations don't care. They do need to be made to care though!

Re: No one cares for unpaid Carers

Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2020 10:05 am
by Cloudygal

Emotional blackmail.

You are so right