New to forum and being selfish for the first time!

[Diane_1703123456]

You can make a sweeping generalisation all you want. That's why I'm alone. I had my daughter at 21 and I have other children to bring up too. I know there isn't a man on a white horse but I was trying to stop my bitterness that a dad can carry on with life without a jot of guilt (sorry to all men if that offends you) and I'm left with the heavy burden for the rest of my life and I just thought I will give it a shot!!! We shall see. I won't hold my breathe but it's better than me whinging and not doing anything. Not that I can. When I'm out with my daughter and I'm linked arm on arm with her it's erm hardly the best chat up line.... but thanks so much for your response, really aprreciate it xx

[Chris From The Gulag]

Hi Diane ... I can emphasis with your generalisation of men , there is a lot my gender leave to be desired.

That's why your quest may well be found amongst our ranks. During carer years , even the very notion of gender has occasionly to be thrown out the window , something else very much lost on non carers.

Look backing back at my years from almost a decade on , I still cringe at some of the things I did , through instinct as a carer , not as a male.

That's why the very essence of being a carer is so important to one , and to all other carers.

If one is not a carer , and almost all that govern our lives , whether in the medical profession , supporting organisations , both national and local Government have no direct experience of caring , how do we carers explain , in their language , what we really need ( Beyond the obvious financial and support services ) , to ease our collective Plight ?

Almost the same as trying to describe a colour to another person. Beyond " Look , that's green " , how else could you describe the colour green ( Ignore physics for a moment ) ?

The correct solution to that question remains unsolved across all carer forums , either current ones , or ones now closed but not forgotten.

No textbook would ever be able to tell you the answer , it's more of a feeling that only carers experience through caring.

[Diane_1703123456]

I didn't mean you Chris from the Gulag!!!! I'm sorry! Xxxx

[Chris From The Gulag]

No problem ... I knew I wasn't a target , at least not in your sights.

Given my history of asking some very awkward questions at times coupled with some observations, I frequently appear in many sights organised by those whose wish " Dissidents " like myself simply disappear , and leave the Status Quo alone to continue to govern our lives as they see fit.

After a while , one tends to question the menu with only a couple of choices on it. It's not the menu at fault , it's the chef !

Par for the course !

[Diane_1703123456]

Ask me some awkward questions if you like, makes life almost exciting, I can't go surfing or to the cinema right now or anywhere as I'm held hostage!, what awkward questions and can I ask you awkward questions in response.... what a great game........ we should promote that and make money and give it to all the injustices in the carers world where we've made enough money to end misery and isolation and there are massive disco halls where everyone goes once a week for a beverage and a laugh and the people we care for have all the support and light shows they need and no one ever ever had a meltdown to deal with........... ok that's bollocks but maybe there's a tenna in the making for the awkward question board game????? No....... alone again

[Chris From The Gulag]

Solving carer problems alone is not the answer , never has been.

Changing the System that governs carers ? Part of the solution.

Changing the way we are governed ? Part of the solution.

Changing the perception needed to even consider changing any of the above ? Part of the solution.

Changing human nature to perceive in a new way ? That is the problem which will never be resolved.

Round and round in ever decreasing circles.

Piece by piece ?

More of a solution.

Ask me the same tomorrow if I have won tonight's Euro Million jackpot outright ?

Human nature ... what a stumbling block to anything ?

The Boulting Bros. got it spot on in " I'm Alright Jack " ... and that was a couple of generations ago !

Essential viewing at anytime !

[Diane_1703123456]

ok euro millions is the answer Chris
Unfortunately I think your right and I have no answer..... but anyway feel free to ask me An awkward question if you dare

[Chris From The Gulag]

What team do you support ... choice of 91 out of 92 ... the 92nd. one would be instant excommunication.

And no sitting on the fence !

Same question I asked a brother , through a third party , I never new I had nor had any prior communication ... thankfully , he passed that acid test !

Told on day one , spoke with him on day two , met on day three.

Shake his hand , hug him , lay him out .... took the safe option ... insulted his Leicester City shirt !
The welcome bit followed.

" Mum , meet my full brother, "

A surreal experience that may be echoed by a few readers of this thread.

How does one prepare themselves for that one ?

[Diane_1703123456]

Ok I told a lie.....Chris from the Gulag (no awkward questions ) Erm,,,,,, ask Jeremy Kyle??? However... back to selfish me... I've got my daughter in bed... burst nappy... poop under finger nails (normality) but some how after joining this forum I feel lighter,,, less scared,,,, less lonely.... I'm sat in bed watching robot wars with a pot noodle (yep...I'm that attractive)....and im possibly going to get a tub of ice cream ....(diet ...Monday of course).... I know I'll be up soon to argue that she would be better playing her iPad at 6am rather than 4am but I feel strong for the first time after reading everyone's own difficulties and stories.... someone is always worse off... that's true... but. Until this forum it never sunk in and had an effect..... well done and bravo and good luck to each and everyone of you for all you caring duties ..... your all heroes and I hope one day... the awkward question board game being designed by Chris from the Gulag ...as we speak will be enough to save us all from the darkness of our days of caring non stop, take care tonight everyone

[Chris From The Gulag]

the awkward question board game being designed by Chris from the Gulag .

Want to see the advanced version ? Now prohibited on the Forum but , the draft one still available on the old CarerWatch site ?

Questions posed that still hang in the air , as relevant a decade ago as they are now.

2017 ? Most lost on today's readers but , still a few taking an interest.