New to forum and being selfish for the first time!

[Diane_1703123456]

Hi I'm a successful (hee hee) divorced single mum and one of my children is autistic who I care for. I have just registrered today and wondered if there were any single male carers out there wanting friendship as I am sure you all understand when your a carer it's hard to find the time to find or indeed fulfill a relationship due to catering responsibilities. I'm only 37 and after a couple of years been alone and feeling isolated with the struggles of going out and about with my autistic daughter it's hard to bump into someone and meet people. This is my first post and I apologise it's regarding my own personal problem (I will support and help who I can on the forum also regarding all other issues!)please don't judge me, I'd try dating websites but fear no one understands the limited time and problems I have and would love to be able to find a single male carer with the same difficulties. (Within similar age if poss)

[Diane_1703123456]

To me from me... erm should say 'caring responsibilities'.... not catering!!!!!!!!

[Chris From The Gulag]

Hi Diane , welcome to the canteen , as some would say aeons ago.

An interesting subject , rarely discussed over the years , mainly ignored despite being all too much of a problem for many readers , both during and after caring.

An essential health and well being issue that has tended to be swept under the carpet , with no supporting organisation , either for carers or our carees , taking the problem by the scruff of the neck.

No doubt , several other inmates will be posting shortly with welcomes and ideas , probably covering the same theme and yet , be unique in substance and ways forward.

Carers ? The only people that understand carers are / were carers themselves.

Even our supporting organisations have that problem at times.

Male carers ? Beware the lifers / long term ones , especially the lone ones. Most would need to go on a retraining program first to relearn the basics , having lost track of them in the mists of time !

Flowers ? Usually means the poor whatsit is in the dog house yet again , and needs to apologise ?

Even she who must be obeyed .... occasionly ? ... has forgotten what for. It's built into a man's genes to always apologise ... for a quieter life ?

Catering ? Male version ?

I tend to go by my internal fire alarm. When that goes off , I know that dinner is ready , and at least not rabbit food again.

Go to turn off alarm and notice that tonight's dinner is sitting on top of the kitchen unit ready to be put into the oven. Question ? What did I put in the oven in the first place ?

Didn't I clean the oven three years ago last Easter ? Must have forgot ?

You certainly came to the right ... Gulag !

The hunt begins ...

[Diane_1703123456]

Thank goodness someone responded. And what a response. Thank you. !!! Hilarious, , really made me laugh and then breath a sigh of relief as I had a bad feeling I was going to get kicked off for being so cheeky, and I was already planning my appologises for if someone complained but your right., there is no such service out there where carers can meet potential partners off other carers, I was about to go on a dating website but realised I didn't want to have to explain or get taken advantage of because I have to little time to commit to that other person, and also I thought I would be viewed as a desperate or easy pushover because of my struggles day to day. My beautiful daughter is nearly 16 now and let's just say when we go out, everyone moves away from us at high speed or the usual..... stares so much they knock themselves out walking into a lamp post. .... ouch So I thought to myself, what can I do.?? Stay alone forever and ever and EVVVVVVEEEEERRRRR, we shall see, your cooking sounds similar to my catering busines

[Chris From The Gulag]

Dating site ?

I would never go out with a woman who would select me to date !



Finding a truly sane male carer might be a little tricky. Most have some signs of sanity above the insanity , some less than others ?

After all , caring does take it's toll differently across all three genders ( Political correctness again ).

The trick is to find the Groucho amongst the Boris Johnsons ?

Or one who is not at a slight angle to the universe ... or even the same universe ?

When it comes to humour ( Or 'Umour in my old hatching pen ) , black tends to rule as it expresses our feelings more apt than the traditional version.

The difference between a schoolboy and a married man ? A schoolboy always has the habit of being one step ahead of trouble. Whereas , a married man is always in trouble even before take a step ?

Easy pushover ? Ask any carer ! Most just fallover before being pushed by the System.

As for normal females , some males need a sledgehammer to achieve the same result ?

As for romance , always be wary of the deck of cards variety.

To kick off , one needs 2 hearts and an occasional diamond.

At the final whistle , a club ... and a spade just to make sure ?

Be seeing you ... not after Fall Out ? ( Bonus of 20 for that one ! ) ... time for my keeper to dress me in that coat that fastens at the back ?

Not quite , most male carers don't need a keeper but , always keep that special coat handy ?

One never knows when they will eventually need it ?

As a Leyton Orient fan , I need mine every Saturday , ten odd months a year , over the past 50 odd years.

Unlike caring or romance , there's no known cure for that condition !

Could be worse .... being married as well ?

Always wanted to see the wife in something long and flowing ... the river Thames perhaps ?

[Diane_1703123456]

you need to write books/poems/scripts .... (if you don't already)

[Albert_1604]

........Now, if I was 50 years younger and un married !!

[Diane_1703123456]

I wish you were too, thanks Albert

[Chris From The Gulag]

Try some of my postings throughout the Forum ?

Some humour in those only to waterdown the message to appease the traffic lights on here. The clue to which can be found in the message " Read between the lines ... the actual truth is often hidden there. "

Somewhat ironically , some of the more serious ones are treated as jokes , and not by fellow carers !

Our world is a somewhat strange one when it comes to how the outside world sees us. A carer is seen , but hardly ever the person.

Stick around , hardly any of us go anywhere , just round and round in ever decreasing circles.

Take me , seven years of precisely that , and I land up back on this Forum.

I hope there will be a few Chicos and Harpos around to continue to provide some form of amusement amongst the postings .... avoid the News Section ... that's my usual habitat , bringing across all the news that make our lives even more insular than they already were.

Next time you look in the mirror , make sure that's the face you want to see , not what others expect to see.

Always remember that there is someone worse off than you ... somewhere ?

Happy hunting ?

A male carer prefers a nice crisp new note of the realm.

Makes a welcomed change from the usual harpoon or bullet if he is a couple of minutes late arriving with his caree for an appointment.

After all , for far too many , thats our one and only function regardless of the cost.

To care for our caree ..... and to care about the fate of our fellow carers.

[MrsAverage]

Hi Diane
If you don't ask you'll never know! That's long been a mantra of mine too so I hope you find what you want.

Making a sweeping generalisation, I do find males don't understand or empathise with autism as much as most females do. So to find the few that do understand , try joining any local autism groups or charity events and check out any men without weddings rings.!

Oh, also keep a check on your private messages comjng in from the forum. You never know who might contact you direct, but I find the number icon hard to see, its in the middle of the purple boxes above.

Good luck
MrsA