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My dad is so mad at me - Carers UK Forum

My dad is so mad at me

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My father is the most laid back man I know. He never swears, or loses his temper, but he did both to me today. Perhaps he is right, and I did wrong.

To cut a long story short I needed to get my laptop repaired. Dropped it off, told to come back in two hours, went for walk, then ended up with a half hour to spare so went into a pub for a cappuccino.

I was in the beer garden drinking my cappo when some bloke engages me in conversation.
Turns out he was suicidal because his girlfriend had died. It’s very disturbing to have a grown man break down in tears in front of you. His tears were genuine – I’m convinced of that – and I offered to walk him back to his care home (intending to let his carers know about the suicide) as he was very drunk.

He disappeared before I could do anything.

When I told my dad about this he went ballistic.

He raved about me being held at knife point, and god knows what else. I just think the poor sod wanted a bit of human reaction.

Am I an idiot?
There always seem to be occassions when we do first and think later. I had one myself the other week. A window cleaner came to the door looking for business and I walked round to the back garden with him leaving the front door open and unlocked. Fortunately he was genuine but I was eaten up with my own stupidity afterwards. Your Dad was only cross because he was so concerned for you. You are still his little girl.
I can understand dad's concern, but you are a grown woman, entitled to make your own choices. I like to think I'd have done the same as you, given my time and compassion to a fellow human being in need. My son doesn't like me being on the forum, but it's MY choice what I do with MY time!!
This bloke's name is John P... or so he told me.

John P don't do it. If your girlfriend is waiting at the Pearly gates, she'd tell you to get lost!

I'm really concerned about this bloke.
Hi Sajehar
I recommend you edit the name out of the post- confidentiality and all that.
I think you did a kind and compassionate thing - 'the comfort of strangers' is what you gave him, and that is a blessing, no doubt about that.

If you were walking back in a populated area, then I doubt you would have been in any danger after all, even if he had turned out to be 'a violent nutter' (and even then, some 'violent nutters' seem very sad - I'm currently haunted by the image of that very sad looking chap whose been arrested for stabbing to death an elderly man in a road rage incident - the accused just does not look like a 'thug' and I will take a punt he is on meds for an MH condition - I'm not excusing what he did, but he's destroyed his own life as well as the poor man he attacked.....so, so, so sad all round.)

In practical terms, if you know where this poor chap of yours lives, maybe you could leave or post a letter for him, saying what you said above - that his girlfriend would not want him to die. That there is a purpose to his continued living, and perhaps it is to help others (as you are helping him!). Tell him that people like me, who have also lost the love of their lives, my husband, are still here to 'bear witness' that life can go on, that we must celebrate our own lives, for the sake of the person we have lost....

I agree with the others, your dad is angry as he was fearful for you, that is all.

Al best as ever, Jenny
Part of your Dad's reaction was fear at what might have happened. He loves you. And he's old enough to know that there are people out there who would behave the way this man did in order to gain an advantage. That's not to say this chap wasn't genuine...just that none of the possibilities for the outcome are very positive.