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Me and mum, long dead! - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Me and mum, long dead!

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
Opps.. I don't know how to put photos up.

But dad has declared a 'something' for robins which doesn't make sense. He wants me and my bro to re-decorate the hallway - fair enough - but we're not allowed to touch the 'big ladders' because robins are nesting there.

He has declared these ladders off-limits by law. But I think he's confusing 'bats' with robins. Either way, me and my bro are not allowed to go near the robins. These cheeky little buggers have carte- blanch; thanks to dad almighty! (It is his garage after-all.)

He - my dad - is so chuffed that robins are nesting there, I don't have the guts to tell him they're diving through the empty door panel... maybe I should?
I haven't been on line for a while but I do remember your posts Sajehar. Sorry you have been so ill recently. I can understand how upset you have been about the tree. Many years ago my father, who died 23 years ago, gave me two shrubs - one would have yellow flowers and the other white - -the yellow one did not survive. I noticed today that there are some tiny shoots sprouting now and I cannot tell you just how delighted I am to see them once again. Potentilla Fruiticosa (Sp?)
Hello Sajehar!

¿What kind of tree was the special tree?

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Hi Juanka_2007

According to Susieq (did I spell that right?) it's a willow: a Salix Caprea Pendula Kilmarnock to be precise! Susieq is a mine of horticultural knowledge so I reckon she's spot on. Bit of a mouthful of a name though :blink: ; I just call it mum's special tree.

Thank you all for your ace and supportive replies; I don't feel such a numpty for responding so emotionally to a dead tree nearly five years after mum's death. That support/undertanding/call you what whatever.... was worth it's weigh in gold, and more to me.

But I'm now determined to post up the three photos I screwed up in the first place. I've even put them in a special folder (and numbered them) so's I don't cock-up. Here goes...... GULP!

Photo 1) Mum's special tree transplanted from the back garden to the front garden so she could see it daily (she loved that tree) without the hassle of getting her to the back garden which caused her pain due to rheumatoid arthritis, etc. Photo taken late Aril 2014.
1) DSCF1558.JPG
Photo 2) Photo taken May 2017... Boy did it leaf up that year!!! Mum had been dead now for nearly 18 months, but seeing her tree so leafy meant she was still around somehow. Maybe the fact that we'd scattered some of her ashes around her special tree got that though in my head?
2) mum's special tree.jpg
There's no more photos of it until it blew over in very high winds this year. The reason being sheer vanity on my part!
In 2018 I rejoined as a volunteer at the hedgehog sanctuary (still there.) Mum's tree bushed up even more in 2018 than the previous year. So I decided to cut it into the shape of a hedgehog, as you do!
I watched loads of u tube vids on how to do topiary and set to with my secateurs. This topiary stuff is a lot harder than it looks and my attempted weeping willow 'hedgehog' looked more like a screaming,startled, up-ended rat by the time I was finished.
It was so awful I didn't take any photos of it as I was that ashamed of my efforts.
No matter the rat - these things happen - I then decided to turn it into a meercat because meercats are even skinnier and up-ended than rats. Plus Mum loved those meercat adverts with a passion. I think my 'damage limitation meercat' in honour of mum probably killed her special tree. Maybe it was a topiary trim too far? That last point has only just occurred to me, by the way.

By late autumn 2018 its leaves had all shriveled up, but that kind of stuff happens in autumn anyway so nobody gave it a second though. By early summer 2019 not a single leaf/bud had appeared. Both Dad and SM were convinced it was dead and wanted to remove it. I fought them tooth & nail, insisting it was just resting.
We compromised: We'd leave it till late spring 2020. IF it still hadn't budded/leafed by then, then we'd remove it. But the winds got there first; as follows:

Except I can't do a third photo, so I'll do a second post instead.... bummer! I'll risk Previewing this post; usually a mistake :ohmy:
Well 'Previewing' my post didn't bugger things up like it used to do. I've now got 2 0f 3 photos up. Two out of three ain't bad.

Now for my third photo (I'm determined to do this; it's now me against the photo put-up computer thing on this site.)

Well that went well.... not :S

Maybe that photo,s megabytes are too big? I'll try shrinking them. It was on a proper digital camera with huge file size and not on a mobile phone.... back soonish.
Bugger me :o The file size of the last photo I tried to post was 10.1MB; no wonder I couldn't post it, and It wasn't that good either.
I've no shrunk it to 25% to 957KB, so should post. Soon find out...

STILL won't post.... HTTP ERROR keeps popping up. I'll try shrinking it some more, by half this time.


I went for broke and shrunk it by another 25%

Can I post it now?
3) IMG_4209 - Copy - Copy.JPG
3) IMG_4209 - Copy - Copy.JPG (76.65 KiB) Viewed 1548 times

I had to reduce it from 10.1MB to 76.6KB; it's probably tiny. Anyway..... Got there in the end (I think.) Do I dare risk a preview? No; I'm just going to submit, as the bishop said to the actress.
I forgot to add that I didn’t end up with a forest; just half of one.

My bros both ordered 2 patio magnolias each (so 4 turned up) but my father, who’s ordered 2 camellia’s cancelled them, and ordered 24 apricot begonias instead (YEHHHHH! They look magnificent.)

SM did indeed get me a cherry tree. I was worried sick where I’d put it… rip out the laburnum or what?

But he pulled a swifty on me; it was a solar powered, fake cherry tree from Aldi. He must love me as he actually queued up at Aldi’s on a Sunday (a ‘Once there gone, they’re gone’ offer); SM hates Aldi, although he’s coming around.
But he sacrificed his good taste for me! He ACTUALLY queued at Aldi…. Miracles will never cease.

So basically my forest is 4 magnolias (three have leafed) 24 apricot begonias and a fake cherry tree. Not quite Epping forest…. Thank god! Because I’m doing all of the gardening.

Not too sure what mum would make of it… I think I’m doing a good job so far. Even the Postie complimented on my front garden.

Not bad, I think, for a complete gardener idiot who relied too much on u-tube.
Hello Sajehar - nice to "see" you again :D

Glad to hear that your garden is doing so well :) I can just imagine your Mum looking down and saying "That's my girl !

By the way the best trees/shrubs for topiary are Box and Yew - small dense leaves !
Hi Susiqe

I’ve worked like a Trojan on mum’s garden, through sheer guilt. It used to be her pride & joy, but went to wrack & ruin after she died. I, through guilt, decided to restore it in early 2018.
Despite an awful lot of set-backs, I reckon I’ve done a good job. Dad repeats what you’ve said, “If only mum was alive, she’d love what you’ve done to the garden.” He never talks about her except in relation to the garden. So the garden is our talking point.

It has bought us closer together, for which I’m grateful.

The weird thing is that I love gardening, despite having ‘red fingers’. I’m now growing veggies too…

Anyway, even the postie complimented us on our front garden.

Here’s what it looked like prior to my restoration.

Here’s what it looks like now.


Bit of a difference or what!

And the back garden is even better. When a postie compliments you on your front garden (they see an awful lot of them) you know you’re doing something right!

I’ve done something right!