I haven’t been on this site for an awful long time; although I have ‘lurked’ occasionally. Basically, I developed health problems of my own which have since been sorted. I ended up with an emergency op for an about to burst ulcer… where did that come from?
Now I don’t know about you, but my idea of an ‘ulcer’ is some American business man drinking loads of milk of magnesia (or American equivalent) and moaning about an upset stomach ad-nauseaum (I’m thinking of the bank manager from ‘The Beverly Hill Billy’s’ here; whose sectary was called Miss Hathaway, I think??)
That didn’t happen to me…. The bloody thing was about to burst WITHOUT any warning signs at all; hence the op.
Pretty piffling stuff in the grand scheme of things, but it knocked me up for what felt like ages, but actually wasn’t that long (just felt like it!)
Life then took over, and I simply didn’t have the energy, nor the time, to post on Carers UK as I ended up caring for two people more than I did before(even though I missed you like hell… Bowlingbun and Susieq in particular.)
Something happened which made me take stock: Mum’s special tree died.
It got ripped up by the high winds…. I had to accept it had died and have since chopped it up for kindling for one of dad’s pub mates.
Previously I had argued that it was just ‘resting’ (like an actor), but once it was up-rooted by the high winds Icould no longer argue it was still ‘alive’, which I did for over a year. The winds took care of that.
That did something to me… After nearly 4.5 years I had to accept mum was finally dead. It took a tree to tell me that…. I was so determined to keep it alive, but I failed; just like with mum.
I really thought I’d gotten over her death – I was so practical about it – but not so. My dad was weird when she died, I was ever so practical – but now I’m the weird one?
Making such a fuss about a tree which nobody else cares about? But mum cared about it, and I want to too? Is that weird?
I’ve even been talking to the robins… just like she did, chucking them worms she had uncovered: am I taking this ‘mum’ thing too far?
I suspect I am, EXCEPT she did feed the robins.
SM and I are still together, but still at loggerheads…. Arguing the toss, as ever. Maybe that’s why? If I were him, I’d have nothing to do with me, being ruthless about it.
But, when all is said and done, I did chop up that tree, and give it to dad’s mates. Why does this pain me so much? That’s not right. I do recognise this – in my head – but I don’t recognise this in my heart.
If I had my way, mum’s tree would be alive and well, but it’s dead instead. I need to reconcile the two… but I don’t know how to. Can anybody on Carers Uk help?
I am at the end of my tether… because of a bloody tree??##
I know a complaint about a tree sounds weird, but it’s doing my head in!
Now I don’t know about you, but my idea of an ‘ulcer’ is some American business man drinking loads of milk of magnesia (or American equivalent) and moaning about an upset stomach ad-nauseaum (I’m thinking of the bank manager from ‘The Beverly Hill Billy’s’ here; whose sectary was called Miss Hathaway, I think??)
That didn’t happen to me…. The bloody thing was about to burst WITHOUT any warning signs at all; hence the op.
Pretty piffling stuff in the grand scheme of things, but it knocked me up for what felt like ages, but actually wasn’t that long (just felt like it!)
Life then took over, and I simply didn’t have the energy, nor the time, to post on Carers UK as I ended up caring for two people more than I did before(even though I missed you like hell… Bowlingbun and Susieq in particular.)
Something happened which made me take stock: Mum’s special tree died.
It got ripped up by the high winds…. I had to accept it had died and have since chopped it up for kindling for one of dad’s pub mates.
Previously I had argued that it was just ‘resting’ (like an actor), but once it was up-rooted by the high winds Icould no longer argue it was still ‘alive’, which I did for over a year. The winds took care of that.
That did something to me… After nearly 4.5 years I had to accept mum was finally dead. It took a tree to tell me that…. I was so determined to keep it alive, but I failed; just like with mum.
I really thought I’d gotten over her death – I was so practical about it – but not so. My dad was weird when she died, I was ever so practical – but now I’m the weird one?
Making such a fuss about a tree which nobody else cares about? But mum cared about it, and I want to too? Is that weird?
I’ve even been talking to the robins… just like she did, chucking them worms she had uncovered: am I taking this ‘mum’ thing too far?
I suspect I am, EXCEPT she did feed the robins.
SM and I are still together, but still at loggerheads…. Arguing the toss, as ever. Maybe that’s why? If I were him, I’d have nothing to do with me, being ruthless about it.
But, when all is said and done, I did chop up that tree, and give it to dad’s mates. Why does this pain me so much? That’s not right. I do recognise this – in my head – but I don’t recognise this in my heart.
If I had my way, mum’s tree would be alive and well, but it’s dead instead. I need to reconcile the two… but I don’t know how to. Can anybody on Carers Uk help?
I am at the end of my tether… because of a bloody tree??##
I know a complaint about a tree sounds weird, but it’s doing my head in!