[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Rant against dad - Carers UK Forum

Rant against dad

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
I have had the most banjaxing row with my father.

He tried to serve my mum with slop. She didn’t want to eat it; I don’t blame her. I’ve warned him about this, but he just won’t listen.

He got all stroppy, then settled down to watch a football match? As if nothing had happened.
I told him to F off, and walked out.

I’m now worried that mum isn’t getting her meds for her heart.

Right now I HATE my father for being so obstinate he can’t see what’s in front of his eyes.
Or do I stick to my guns… I don’t know?
Hi Sajehar
Oh gosh poor you, that's a hard one. I suppose Dad think he is trying to be helpful but it just doesn't work out that way.
I think my Dad thinks I served in slops this evening but no doubt he will live to tell the tale. At least your mum will appreciate your help that little bit more next time.
I guess with the meds you need to rise above it, pop back like nothing happened and make sure mum's meds are ok. Easier said than done I know but the dust will settle.
You have my absolute admiration for what you do for your parents, putting your own life on hold for the time being. Try to work out why you snapped today. Has anything changed recently which means you now need more support? Or are you just permanently shattered? Don't beat yourself up, maybe your outburst surprised you? Look after yourself.
Sajehar wrote: Right now I HATE my father for being so obstinate he can’t see what’s in front of his eyes.
Don't hate him Sajehar; he does see what's in front of his eyes - but he doesn't want to acknowledge it. Your Mum is his wife, who be promised to "love in sickness and in health, until death do us part" and he doesn't want to face up to the dying part. By 'burying his head in the sand' he can carry on as if nothing is happening.

You are doing a grand job looking after your Mum, but try to be a little bit more patient with your Dad - he needs your understanding too.
Hi Henrietta, Bowlingbun and Suseiq

I’ve since calmed down, and made up with dad.

Last night I cooked supper showing dad how I do it. I presented mum with a small portion which she actually ate.

I then asked her if she’d like seconds. “No thanks,” was the reply. I then asked her if she’d like some lemon drizzle cheesecake, “Oh, that sounds lovely.”

She got it, she ate it, and then asked for seconds!

My father was shocked; he plonks down a huge plate of food which I know is intimidating to mum, usually too hot because he over relies on that blasted microwave, and she won’t touch it (the food that is, not the microwave.)

But I think that was an excuse to blow it this week. I think the real reason I blew it was because I couldn’t go to a funeral of someone I admired very much.

He died suddenly from a brain embolism, at age 50. We’d never met before (despite living on the same estate for years.)

Between the two of us, pouring over documents, we took our Housing Association to court… and won!

We got the service charge reduced from £18.22 to £7.30, and then they had to pay us back.

That was down to him. I had the facts and figures, but he had the know-how to take them on.

We worked well together as a team, and I morn his loss… ours really.
Sajehar - Don't be hard on yourself. We all have days like that, well I certainly do, when it just depends what "lights the blue touch paper". I couldn't go to a friend's funeral recently and felt really sad about it so I understand.

You are putting your whole heart and soul into caring. xx