I'm tired of being me

[Doug _2205]

I suffer from OCD and high function autism, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't suffer from both of them simultaneously. I have always been prone to emotional outbursts, hypersensitivity, selfishness, panic attacks, perfectionist tendencies and social incompetency. And the worst part is how misunderstood the general population is. People either want to steer clear from me or confront me with scorn and repulse. I'm aware that I have issues. But I don't try to be a bad person. I wish I was somebody else. A person who is understood, you know? A normal, decent human being.

[Melly1]

Hi Doug,

this website is primarily for people caring for a family member or friend; rather than someone who requires support. Although of course some people on the spectrum are also carers.

You may find support these links helpful:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance

https://www.mind.org.uk

https://www.ocduk.org

Melly1

[Breezey]

I suffer from OCD and high function autism, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't suffer from both of them simultaneously. I have always been prone to emotional outbursts, hypersensitivity, selfishness, panic attacks, perfectionist tendencies and social incompetency. And the worst part is how misunderstood the general population is. People either want to steer clear from me or confront me with scorn and repulse. I'm aware that I have issues. But I don't try to be a bad person. I wish I was somebody else. A person who is understood, you know? A normal, decent human being.

Hi Doug

There is also a forum here which you will find helpful
https://community.autism.org.uk/

One neurodiverse person describes it as being a cat in a world full of dogs.
That certainly rings true, it is difficult and isolating at times.

You are a decent human being, you are just wired differently
Look around at posts in that forum and you will feel more normal in many ways but some of the posts might make you feel worse for a little while.

Those who are mean and unkind to you - their actions say everything about who they are as people and nothing about you, when someone points a finger like that, there are 3 fingers pointing back at themselves for their ignorance, unkindness and mean behaviour. Move on from them and keep looking for your tribe of people who have kindness and acceptance, those mean ones are not worth your time.

I hope you get to a place where you mostly celebrate your difference.