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I HATE Cristmas - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

I HATE Cristmas

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
Well, I'm glad I'm not facing Eun's Christmas, and as for Ladybird, that has been some traumatic year. But, whilst there is breath, we have to do our best to eat drink and be merry, whether that is an Indian takeaway or (in my case) a haunch of free roadkill venison, slow cooked all day with stock, salt and pepper, herbs, a couple of chilli peppers, home-made raspberry jelly, red wine, celery, carrot, onion, a dash of balsamic, a few dried wild mushrooms, some fresh crushed garlic, and a tin of chopped tomatoes. Served with new potatoes and red cabbage, totally to die for. Serves six. Total cost of ingredients? About £4.

Even our Christmas tree is free, it comes off the hill. I usually get a ten or twelve footer, they are self seeded, so they are like weeds.

As for TV adverts, I have the solution: I don't watch TV, no honestly, almost not at all. Can't abide the adverts, and hate game shows, soaps, and talent shows and all these silly so called reality shows: and I don't trust the BBC News, which is merely establishment propaganda: I'd rather watch a film drama or documentary on Youtube or Netflix, or video.
I used to love Christmas too, but this year I am totally dreading it. I have no idea why. There are far too many adverts (someone buy me a zap gun that can wipe them out) the BBC is rubbish now for news... ARGHHHHHhhh!

Maybe I should do what I did for years.

In order to wriggle out of pressie buying, and to have a damn good excuse not to turn up on Christmas day, me and a mate would volunteer to help prepare Christmas dinner at a nunnery in the centre of Liverpool. They ran a shelter for the homeless in a scuzzy side street, but anyone was welcome to turn up for chrimbo grub. There would be single mums with their kids, students from all over the world as well as the homeless.

It was manic. And how the hell such a disparate bunch of volunteers, commanded by a bunch of nuns, ever managed to prepare, and serve, so many dinners I shall never know… and on time too!

I think they were called the Little Sisters of the Poor, or something like that. My mate nick-named them the Sisters of Perpetual Misery because alcohol was strictly verboten. That didn’t stop us smuggling in rum or something, and having a sneaky ‘reward’ drink once all the cooking, etc was done.
After the pressie giving to the kids was done, we’d sneak out into their garden for an illicit drink and fag, and every year some nun caught us. Did these nuns train as commandos? They could creep up on you without a peep until it was too late.
But after a bit of nun tut tutting, we were left alone to enjoy our well-deserved Xmas drink, fags and marvelling at their oasis of a garden.
Suitably refreshed, we’d re-join the fray for the sing songs and daft games.

It was bloody good fun, actually. So, despite our friends and family thinking we were making some kind of sacrifice, we weren’t. We were being completely selfish! How ironic is that?

Then that part of Liverpool got re-developed, and the nuns disappeared. I’ve no idea if they were temporarily relocated elsewhere, and are back again, or are gone for good.
Next time I’m over there I shall have to check. It would be a shame if their shelter and wonderful garden (trees, plants and stuff from all over the world they planted there) were gone.
There are good things though. My son and two other friends, all with learning difficulties, plus the respective parents, meet in a local pub for a meal and a catch up on all the recent news. They used to live in the same residential home, now they are all in different places, but it's great to be able to support them in a long term friendship.
Normally I like Christmas, but this year hubby and I are going to our daughters, which in many ways will be nice, but hubby will find the change of routine difficult and I will have to do a lot of driving.
It is also my mums 90th birthday. Im organising a small party for her, but its upsetting. This time last year I had no idea that there was any problem, now she may well not know who I am. 3 years ago my MIL (who I loved like a second mum) and my own mum decided to hold a joint birthday party when they were 90 as their birthdays were so close together. Now my MIL is dead and Im losing my mum too. And Im organising the party.
I really cant get into the Christmas spirit this year.
I feel for you, because that's what I'm going through. It's like I'm waiting for her to die, but I don't want her to. And all this Christmas stuff is doing my head in. I just wish it would go away... I really can't face buying a load of stupid presents that nobody actually needs.
The way mum has been over the last few months I wondered if I should go ahead with her party, but then decided "what the heck" it's not every day you reach 90 and if she wants to stay in bed she can put on her best nighty and a bit of lipstick and lord in up in her bedroom. It's not often we can get the family together (they are a 4 hour round trip away).

On the subject of Mums, Hubs has just returned from visiting his up in Wigan. His mum is 80 next year but still trying to keep up with the 40 yr olds she works with. She had a fall over the summer and still hasn't seen the GP despite not being able to lift her arm above her shoulder. She had another slip last week and hurt her wrist , Hubs "read her the riot act" and told her if she hadn't made an appointment with her GP this week he would call 999 ! His younger brother ( who lives with his Mum) has tried to get her to go but she might listen to her eldest ! MUMS !!
As some of our carees get older and weaker, the big occasions get more and more difficult, in my humble opinion.

I am not especially looking forward to Christmas either. IF mum has had her plaster off by Christmas AND can walk a few paces to get into my house with its narrow hallway, I will attempt bringing her back to me for Christmas lunch, probably followed by a snooze in front of the TV, and a relatively early return to the nursing home. I will probably then hit the booze and Strictly. Otherwise, I guess we will have to have lunch at the home.

I see all these happy family gatherings on TV and yes, I know they are a myth but my Christmas will either be mum and me at my house or in the home. Admittedly I don't want her other relatives there (and they wont want to come) but it does seem sad when I remember the big family gatherings we had when I was a child.
Lesson there for everyone: enjoy your family gatherings and make the most of them whilst you can.
My M&D are now in their 90's and for many years we used to have a huge family gathering over three days in a hotel. Now obviously they can't cope with all that racket, so we organise a gentle rota of visitors and keep it low key.
I don't see this as sad, it is simply change: we have to improvise as we move on.
There is nothing intrinsically better about a huge gathering of 30 than a smaller party or two or three, but I do feel sorry for those who are alone at Christmas; that must be very sad.
Yes Christmas run up starts immediately after the summer holidays now, shops are putting their cards and baubles out to tempt us to spend. Some of the adverts are more obscure, some are simple and brilliant but I say enjoy what you can while you can. Last years was my first Christmas alone with just dog, this was after 29 years of Care for my wife, I bought turkey, ham and all the usual food but never saw a soul for days, it was the longest and loneliest time ever. This year hopefully will not be as bad but without any family anywhere nearby I know it will be just dog and I again. Merry Christmas! BAH!
Les, that sounds idyllic to me!