Hurtful Comment

[York52]

I know a lot of forum users work and care as I do.
Its a very difficult thing to do.
I am rarely late for work and If I have to take time off I work extra as and when I can,usually a bit after work or a Saturday morning.
Next week we have a hard job to do,I thought fine.
One of my work colleagues said its ok I can just take the day off and say my wife is ill.
I have never done anything like that and never will.
I was so upset,he apologised ten minutes later and said he realised it was a stupid thing to say.
My mood hasn't picked up all day.
I would rather say my feelings on here,I don't want my wife to pick up on what happened as she is suffering badly at the moment.

[mr turk]

hi York your work mate is wrong and you did right to say it on here so your wife does not pick up on it take care mate

[crocus]

Hi york,
Unfortunately lots of people seem to think its OK to bunk off work
Even leaving ethics aside (I wouldnt just bunk off either), carers cant do this as they need to keep this for the days when their caree is really ill. Im glad he realised that what he said was out of order and apologised
One of the nice things about this site is that you can say what is bothering you without upsetting your caree.
Take care.

[silverday]

Hi York
I'm glad your work mate apologised, a very hurtful thing to say. It can be difficult at work when people say things like that. take care xx

[mand65]

some people can be insensitive pigs...im glad they have realised and apologised, as if your load is not hard enough, its days like that when you could hold your hands up and say stuff you....... i book holidays when i need to support my gal, but ohhh i make them all know that is not a holiday for me , your doing a good job juggling... dont let them get you down, sending my best wishes to you both......mand

[Anne001]

Hi York,

What a stupid and heartless thing to say; not surprised you are upset by it, I would be too.

Yes, I am another in work and caring. I know that compared to some that we are lucky to be able to go to work. However, if colleagues only knew the half of it. I occasionally get "Oh what are you doing for the weekend?" Real answer is the same as every other week - looking after mum. When I take leave, it is normally to spend the day at some hospital or other. Or taking mum to opticians / dentist etc. I think most carers work doubly hard at work because they know that they may need to take some time off with very little notice.

Glad that your colleague apologised. And yes, that's what's good about this Forum - people do understand

[Penny]

It's good that your colleague apologised - least he could do.

Hope your wife feels better soon too.

[York52]

Thank you everyone for your support when I needed it.

[phoebe]

York- am a bit late coming to this post, but just want to add my bit. it makes me so angry when people say insensitive and hurtful things, and I'm glad they apologised.
Until recently, I worked full time, and every annual leave or toil day was saved up for hosp/doc appt etc and "emergencies"
I always say, until they walk a mile in our shoes, they just have no idea of whats involved and the worry that goes with it.
Hope your wife's on the mend.
Phoebe x

[Juggler]

I think most carers work doubly hard at work because they know that they may need to take some time off with very little notice.

Yep! And feel guilty when they do take time off at little notice as it's putting more pressure on colleagues. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's done work calls/texts outside A+E.

Mind you , I can honestly say I didn't understand the strain that running the two roles put on you till I ended up doing them. I'm even more amazed how so many folk here have given up work completely to be carers...but I'm sure there are some who'll always see that as an 'easy' option!!