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Advice desperately needed!!!! - Carers UK Forum

Advice desperately needed!!!!

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Hi, I care for my 2 year old daughter who's recovering from cancer, so I don't currently work. I'm not with my daughters father, he has her most weekends but there's a snag.
He doesn't help potty train her, lets her do what she wants and stay up late and also doesn't support his daughter financially. Lately he's been having her less and less and my daughter comes out with things like she's been at someone's house and to the pub. He's also lied about having our daughter when she's been at my dads or a old family friend. I'm concerned for my daughter, she has a great up bringing with me and her step dad but her dad not so much.
Advice on what to do? CSA? Supervised visits? Or am I over reacting?
Also I believe she may have been around someone that has spent time in a mental hospital not that they would harm my daughter but it concerns me still
Sam, I think without any doubt that if you have any concerns whatsoever with the way your ex cares for your little daughter you should take some action. Perhaps supervised access is the way to go...why not speak with a solicitor so you are sure of your rights etc.

Bell x
Sam- I was also in a similar situation years ago when my Children were that age. I went down the supervised visits route till I felt a bit more confident. very difficult situation, my children's father did his utmost to cause trouble and mayhem over the last 20 years,but I stayed calm and didn't retaliate for the childrens sake (through gritted teeth, though, most of the time) Image Image

As a result, although my daughter has some emotional issues, they are both grounded and sensible adults with a good relationship with me, and each other.

Stand your ground, and keep calm around your daughter, no matter how far your ex pushes you, it will be difficult, but you and your lovely daughter will reap the benefits in future years.
Good luck,
Love Phoebe xx
I would advise supervised visits.
Grandson's er, 'dad' had to have these for a while, but then they stopped and now there's no other answer but to keep going to court (costs money) to get them started again. Has him every Sat pm/Sunday through to school on Mondays and has openly told my daughter that he won't tell grandson off, as he only has him for a short while.
Result? He gets everything he wants at his 'dads', does what he wants, eats what he wants, behaves how he wants. Goes back home to daughter and son in law, after school on Mondays and they spend the rest of the week, fighting with his attitudes and trying to install some kind of discipline into him again, which has all gone out of the window at weekends. His character has totally changed now that he sees his 'dad' regularly and daughter wishes to goodness that 'dad' would just tell her that he doesn't want to see him anymore. This man has totally ruined what used to be a lovely, kind, caring little boy and turned him into some kind of selfish, spoilt, monster (most) of the time, due to his lack of discipline and lack of continuity of routine and rules laid down by daughter and son in law.
The quicker you nip your situation in the bud, the better. My grandson is now 5 1/2 and I fear things are just getting worse, which saddens me terribly. Daughter cannot keep travelling 50 miles to attend so called 'Family Meetings' each time 'dad' messes up. He doesn't play with him or interact with him in any way, just lets him sit and stagnate in front of games machines or tv, to the extent that the child is fast losing his imagination. Daughter and son in law are so upset at the virtual 'loss' of the nice boy we all once had. His 'dad' sees nothing is wrong.
Please get this sorted as soon as you can.
Thanks nananana

We are defiantly in the situation where my daughter things she can do what she wants because of her father, fortunately since writing the post originally her father has barely seen her and is becoming less and less interested in seeing her at all.
I feel sorry for my daughter but if he abondons her as such in the long run it will be better for all of us.
My partner can't understand why someone wouldn't want to spend all the time they could with such a brave lovely girl..... He is taking the stepdad role very seriously and loves my daughter