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Mum has just had a shock. - Carers UK Forum

Mum has just had a shock.

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This morning we visited Mum's former boss in a care home and she has dementia.
Somebody who she worked with asked her to visit as she is in a bad way with dementia.
The resident kept on saying nobody had visited her but the nurse said at least 15 different people have visited her when she had been on duty.
Strangely enough she did not recognise Mum and she kept calling me Tony. As far as I am aware Tony is not a woman's name.I have never met her before.
What did shock Mum however is she is older than a lot of the residents and she was astonished with the behaviour.
When we got out we went and had steak and chips which is Mum's favourite meal and Mum had a glass of wine which is unusual for her as she normally only drinks in the evening.

Sonja
Could have been Toni as in the female spelling of the name.
Hi Sonja

When my father was in care he started asking for my mother who died in 2003.
He was also asking for other people who we had lost contact with years before.
I would doubt if most of the people he mentioned would have been alive as they would have been 100+ years old.


Brian
Sonja if you or your Mum have never witnessed dementia 'in action' then, yes, if can come as a shock.

The behaviour of your Mum's boss is not unusual with someone suffering from dementia. Because they have forgotten so much and because they can't retain any new information dementia patients can only live in the present Image What has gone before is shrouded in mist, although they will often be able to recall events from their youth with surprising clarity; and because they remember so little they also tend to lose inhibitions and exhibit 'inappropriate' behaviour patterns.

It's a terrible disease, as those of us that have witnessed it at first hand will testify.
susieq

Sadly or happily however you look at it Dad outlived most of his friends. I go back 61 years but the only person who knows him from further back is his slightly younger sister.
Something which kept one resident interested was looking at photographs of his old cars and he was able to describe places he went in those cars.
In Dad's case however he changed his cars about every 3 years but often he was looking to save a few £'s and he had 3 silver cars in a row and 4 reds so they did not stand out.
Looking back it may have been better if he had different colour cars over his life to jog his memory but I can understand him not wanting him to pay £500 more for the same car for example.

Brian