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FB FW : advice to those of us caring for elderly parents - Carers UK Forum

FB FW : advice to those of us caring for elderly parents

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
Spotted this going past today.... made me think!

''Heart Touching Story''
Once, an old man was sitting on a
bench of a garden with his 25yrs old
son. There was a tree beside the
bench. The old man saw a bird
sitting on the tree.He asked the son-
what’s this?
Sonreplied- it’s a crow. The old…
man again asked what’s this?
Son said- I already told u that it’s a
crow. The old man again asked what’s
this?
Son angrily said- are u deaf or
mad,papa? How many times will i tell
u it’s a crow. Can’t u understand?
Old man patiently replied- my dear
son,when u were 5yrs old, u asked
me174 times the same question that
what’s this and i replied everytime
with a kiss that, it’s a crow! Now, I
askd u 3 times and u were irritated.
NOTE: It’s the difference between the
love of parents and love from the
children So please do your duty when
your parents are dependent on u.
Don’t hurt them.
It's very true Mads, made me think too. x
Thought provoking and very touching. x x Thank you Mads.
no of course i would not hurt my mum.

however, the poem gives the impression that everybodies parents were as parents should be. what if that is not the case.
Pamr, that's so true. My mum, an only child, virtually abandoned her mother, who only lived 20 miles away, making all sorts of feeble excuses about why she didn't go. Yet my mum, now disabled herself, expects me to be constantly available to do anything and everything - even when I'd just had life saving major surgery!!!
Absolutely agree with Pam and Bowling we can all read these lovely sentiments and of course agree with them but everyone is different and each scenario also very different, ours at the moment is a living nightmare, my parents expect me to put them before EVERYTHING else in my life. I am fully aware that they looked after me well when I was a child but isn't that what parents are supposed to do, after all I looked after my child too and after 10 years of caring for my two without any more than a two day break I am at times at my wits end trying to juggle balls in the air to keep everyone happy. I will continue to do this as long as I can but fear that my own physical and mental health is failing too. I would never do anything to harm either of my parents because I love them dearly and wouldn't have put my life on hold for 10 years and counting if I didn't but honesty permits me to say on occasions when they play me up (and my Mum can be very vicious with her tongue) I really don't like them very much. After all folks we are all human. One thing for certain is I have learned from our situation and have written a letter to my daughter stating that under no circumstance would I want her life to be as taken over as mine his and request that as soon as I am unable to live independantly my wish is that I go into resedential care. Her Dad is golden and rarely complains but I can see how worried he is about me at the moment and that too hurts xxxxxxxxxxxx
True enough....
I just thought it worth spreading beyond FB as so many of us care for elderly parents and don't really take into consideration the history of the relationship and the various changes that take place across our lifetimes.
Absolutely Mads I guess there are a lot of oldies out there that don't get the care and attention that ours are lucky enough to get and my post may have come over as a rant but we have had yet another traumatic week. Rant not intended as malicious in any way at all we all do a fantastic job with our carees just caught me at a bad time I guess xxxx
Spot on Mads x a bit more patience and tolerance .a listening ear, is all they need and a hug.
Minnie
I care for my mum who lives with me and as I am an only child, divorced and with no children, the buck definitely stops here. I have not been away for even a night in 3 years and am beginning to get extremely depressed. Today she threw a temper tantrum about nothing at all and despite being a pensioner myself I could feel myself responding inside as I had as a child. My local AgeUK does not have a befriending service- which I think could help her to have someone else to talk with and give me a break. In a way I am glad she did not apologise as I could not have said it didn't matter- because it did. But as whenever I said sorry as a child she told me sorry was just a word and means nothing I expect I will never hear the word from her. I am doing my best and taking each day as it comes... but I feel life has now passed me by.