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Do many of you feel like this! - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Do many of you feel like this!

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
I think you are right Pet. Group hug, everyone.

Melly1

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Most definitely..........just wish I could sleep.
YEs, every single day! I wake up and then start thinking about what I have to do, who I have to look out for and so on. I could easily pull the covers over me and go back to sleep.

Even though my Mum is now in a care home I take her out one day to a dementia group, have her at mine for lunch and the rest of the day and take her back at teatime. I also have her here often for the day on Sundays. most days I have to take my special needs daughter somewhere or sort out a problem.

I hear friends talking about going on trips, going to the spa or having a girly day with friends and I do feel envious at times.
I WAS having a good day. Decided to sort my hair out. It's ramrom straight naturally, so I had it permed as usual about 10 days ago. I washed it one evening and slept on it damp, which I know I shouldn't do, so it was frizzy next morning. Today I armed myself with argan oil shampoo, conditioner, hair dryer, hot brush, various brushes etc. and by the time I'd finished it was smooth curls/waves just like I always used to have it. Doors and windows wide open to let the warm weather in, I was happy as a pig in ***.
Then the postman brought M's bank statement. The useless idiot care staff had managed to overdraw, despite me endlessly telling them to write down and add up what they spend. Last week the manager had rung to say the standing order hadn't gone in, well it had, but they'd spent it immediately.
So I've spent the last hour or two sending emails to SSD and the care provider. Didn't mince my words. Then rang SSD Complaints, told them I'd had ENOUGH. Confidence in the agency destroyed, find another care agency that can read, write, and do simple sums.
So now I'd better find a cat to kick or something because I could chew off anyone's head who rang me right now!! Feeling too evil minded to even think about sewing. Things are really, really bad when even my sewing room can't tempt me. Especially when I've just collected my best machine from having a service and I have lots of holiday clothes waiting for buttonholes and the twin needles to do some smart hems.
Oh damn and blast!!! I don't know what to say. It's all been said before how we all feel so indignant for you.
How one thing can spoil a good day.
I'm not good at maths honestly, but have just managed to sort out the years incomings / outgoings etc for COP. With a calculator admittedly. It can't CAN'T can't be hard to work out whats been spent from Ms allowance. After all they don't take him out, only to the blasted shops for easy food that gets wasted.
This is me, BB letting of steam with you.(((( HUGS)))
Hi BB
I think things feel worse once you've managed to relax and return to near normal for a while, then all of a sudden back to earth with a bump.
I'm sure you've thought of it before but how about a shop card with so much credit on it instead of access to bank account, then when it's gone it's gone, or another idea, set up a regular shopping order on line with the basics at a known price , perhaps for the carers to collect if delivery is an issue. No doubt you've considered thse before but maybe worth mentioning.
The money is the worst problem but honestly this lot couldn't organise a P*** up in a brewery. It's the last straw that broke the camel's back. I found out last week that his weight went up to 19stone 9lbs last month, because they keep feeding him rubbish. He lives on the edge of the New Forest but they've never once taken him for a walk there. I buy weedkiller for the weedy front garden, they spray it on expensive plants in the back.
They've had enough rope, they've now hung themselves.
bowlingbun wrote:The money is the worst problem but honestly this lot couldn't organise a P*** up in a brewery. It's the last straw that broke the camel's back. I found out last week that his weight went up to 19stone 9lbs last month, because they keep feeding him rubbish. He lives on the edge of the New Forest but they've never once taken him for a walk there. I buy weedkiller for the weedy front garden, they spray it on expensive plants in the back.
They've had enough rope, they've now hung themselves.
Oh BB I do feel for you! I can't stand incompetence and a lack of common sense. When my mum started in her care home last Dec she was told that they go for trips out in the summer and she was pleased about that. They haven't been out once! She was also told that in the good weather they sit outside in the garden. She has sat out just once and we've had some fab Weather. One day they went to sit outside and the staff made them come back inside as they said it was too hot. They appear not to have any parasols or trees to sit under. When I think what my Mum is paying to be there and they can't even provide a cheap parasol.

My mums toilet window in the Care home cannot open. I have asked loads of times whether this can be dealt with as she has a colostomy and it can get smelly in there which she hates. They just say that they've lost the key and to put in a new window would cost too much money. Meantime I take in several cans of air freshener a week as they don't provide that either.

She's not allowed to prop her bedroom door open as it's considered a fire hazard. I said I had noticed some of the rooms have proper door stops on and was told you have to buy them yourself. One man told me he paid nearly £150 to have one fitted to his Mums door there.

From what I can make out most relatives just keep quiet and daren't question anything at the home.
Penny, that sounds SOOO bad.
The trouble is, in the end, it's a sellers market for care homes, isn't it? More wanting places than there are places.

I had a sudden worry ye/day when I read in the Times about the number of 'unsatisfactory' care homes, and one of the thigns was 'patients not having showers for weeks'.

It suddenly made me wonder about my poor (self-funding) MIL. When was she last showered (at the mo, her hair is FILTHY). I sort of assumed it was because she won't cooperate (and then that invokes the tricky issue of deprivation of liberty/forcing her, etc etc).....but reading that article suddenly made me worry that the staff 'can't be bothered' to get her showered and hairwashed....(though the latter usually takes place in the little hair salon there)

I'm hoping it isn't the latter 'can't be bothered' because by and large the staff are lovely!

Does your mum's care home accept council-funded residents? I think that may adversely affect the situation for two reasons. Firstly, the LA's don't pay the 'actual' cost, so that has to be 'topped up' by us self-funders !!!!

But secondly, I thik that when you have residents who are there 'on the council' there can be an attitude of 'charity' towards them maybe, and the staff can think 'Oh, the family aren't paying, so whatever they get, however little here, they should be grateful!'

I would suspect that non-LA homes (the kind my MIL was in before she was expelled for wandering off!) tend to be 'better? That said, there is a very lavish 5 star one near me, that's like a luxury hotel inside - yet one of the daughter's I know whose mum is there says the food is actually pretty poor, and the whole place is 'nothing special' though it costs well over £50k a year!!!!!!
Penny, that's awful too. Ask them to get a locksmith in for the toilet window, of course it needs to be open. Ours is only shut in really freezing weather. I sometimes wonder how these care homes etc. can live with themselves, whatever happened to the concept of being proud of what you do? Wherever I worked I always did my very best for my employer and customers, even when I was a checkout girl as a fill in job.