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Adverts for nursing homes. - Carers UK Forum

Adverts for nursing homes.

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I have seen 3 care home adverts recently for homes which are opening and they all show pictures of happy smiling residents.
All these homes provide dementia care.
Over the past 3 years I must have visited 20+ care homes and I have yet to see residents happy and smiling.
Am I missing something somewhere?.

Brian
Image Image Image

The clue to the missing bit is the word "advert", which means telling people lies in order to make them cough up the dough.
Well no company is going to show miserable people using their services (no matter what their selling) it's not good for business !!!!
Some are awful places

Where father inlaw is everyone is smiling and happy not everyday because they have dementia and he is on the dementia unit we have seen a few kick off but when we do go they are all smiling tv adverts are false as care homes are not always good and residents are not always happy
There can be a vast difference in nursing homes. the first one my Mother in law was in, was wonderful and the staff were lovely. the second one was awful with terrible staff.
Incidentally, it wasn't us who moved her, it was social services. We didn't want her moved.
Phoebe xxx
I have seen 3 care home adverts recently for homes which are opening and they all show pictures of happy smiling residents.
All these homes provide dementia care.
Over the past 3 years I must have visited 20+ care homes and I have yet to see residents happy and smiling.
Am I missing something somewhere?.

Brian
yes, brian .... I think you are missing something. Namely fairness. Visiting 20 plus care homes and taking a snapshot view is hardly a comprehensive survey.

I too have an insight but in my case to only a single care home, in my case a closed dementia unit. But I have visited it every single day and many nights for two years now. Not just for fleeting visits but spending hours there. Just like any social life situation nobody is grinning all the time, every minute of every day. And sometimes, there is a bit of apprehension when strangers appear.

But I can assure you there is certainly plenty of smiles, giggles and laughter too. Not just from "my"resident but from many others.

And residents in their nineties who can enjoy a bit of fun, join in music sessions and even
Get up and Dance. Including my Own Man. Even if it takes one careworker holding him up from behind by his trouser band and two more staff shuffling beside us in case he topples over (very non H and S but with my gratitude and blessing).

Furthermore, as a visitor, I see my role now as one of enabling and encouraging a bit of fun in what is a truly dire situation. let's face it, a dementia home is of essence palliative care. My motto, his motto and that of many of the residents is that we are never never ever too old to party.

have you ever tried jiving with a wheelchair resident? good fun! trust me! have you ever tried the Charlston or the sailors Hornpipe and watched the reactions? I fully recommend it. During breakfast, after lunch, whenever the moment grabs you.

have you ever heard a non verbal resident suddenly sing the chorus of a favourite song? It happens brian, believe me.

And so it should Image Image Image
Ps I know some folk of all ages who do NOT reside in care homes who can never manage to smile, never appear to have fun and are stuck in a pattern of moaning and whinging over trifles, not the edible ones. Wouldn't want photos of them on my wall!! But they would make good reminders of how NOT to live, yeah?
Adverts with smiling faces are par for the course. Watch TV for five minutes and you'll see people delighted to be getting out of their rise recliner chair and onto a stair lift...and grinning with glee as they wax their legs! They certainly wouldn't sell so much if they showed reality - the panic of needing to get to the loo in time or the pain of hair follicles being ripped out! Image Image
Hi Dancedintherain

I visited the home my father was in for 7 weeks and in all fairness they did organise some music and entertainment.
Sadly he passed away after that time.
I did try dancing with some of the other residents but you had to be careful as it was a specialist home specialising in violent dementia patients.
I saw a few residents happy for a short time and Dad was happy generally when I arrived.
During the visits Dad was always asking when was he going home and he was continually getting his property out on to the bed thinking I was about to take him home.
Sometimes he was annoyed at the end when I was about to leave.
Usually I said something like he needed something and I was going to get it.
All I can say is I hope never to have to go in to a care home.
Also I hope I do not have to stay in hospital for a long time. The longest stay I have had was 4 days.
This may be a bad advert as my 2 daughters are nurses.

Brian
I totally understand Brian that you don't want to be ill and hospitalised and you don't want to live in a care home. I doubt anybody does! We want to stay healthy and we want to stay independent and Enjoy living in our own homes. All perfectly natural feelings. I imagine most residents found the decision difficult.

However, I am constantly aware that readers of these boards might well be in a situation where they realise that residential care for their loved ones (or themselves) might be the only option for a variety of reasons. So I feel it is important to offer BALANCED views about life in care homes, of whatever sort. Including dementia Units.

(And yes, managing aggressive violent behaviour is very often part of dementia care and management,both visitors and staff have to be constantly alert to the dangers. Phases of behaviours out of character are almost par for the course and can be very distressing indeed for all concerned. Always a dilemma between the least restrictive options of allowing individuals freedom whilst having to manage the safety aspects).

I am so pleased you were able to take part in some organised activities for residents. That is positive. My point is that impromptu "engagements" with residents are also of value...seizing moments of interaction is the name of the long game.

I have no idea if you or I will finish our days in care. I like to think that should the time come for myself I will quietly take myself off to residential care and avoid burdening my family. But who knows what is round the next corner?

We all hear of cases of neglect and abuse. However, Good Care does not make headlines. As a member of a carers forum I am pleased I am able to reassure that Good care does indeed exist.
I hope this makes sense.
DR