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Carers UK Forum • Conflicts with my sister
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Conflicts with my sister

Posted: Mon Feb 07, 2022 11:06 am
by DennisSebasi _2201
Hi
I am feeling sad because of my sister. We have never been close to each other we were just like poles a apart. We fight all the time. Sometimes we were pitted against each other which has caused resentment. Does anyone have similar stories with happy endings or just any advice how to solve the issues between us?
Thanks in advance

Re: Conflicts with my sister

Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2022 6:00 pm
by bowlingbun
What are you arguing about?

Re: Conflicts with my sister

Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2022 11:39 am
by EdwardS _2201
Me and my brother weren't close until a few years after this but even he saw and expressed that my girlfriend at the time was an evil **** and made me unhappy. He never got involved but he told me that she was not a good person and I deserve better. Hit my right in the feels

Re: Conflicts with my sister

Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2022 10:48 am
by Breezey
DennisSebasi _2201 wrote:
Mon Feb 07, 2022 11:06 am
Hi
I am feeling sad because of my sister. We have never been close to each other we were just like poles a apart. We fight all the time. Sometimes we were pitted against each other which has caused resentment. Does anyone have similar stories with happy endings or just any advice how to solve the issues between us?
Thanks in advance
Have a good think about how to approach a fresh start with her.
you are adults now and childhood/adolescent differences are now by the by, they should be put down to childhood and a mutual respect sorted out in an adult relationship.

Change the perspective, focus on what you like and respect about her, what you are proud of about her.
Kids can be cruel, they don't understand consequences and you might not have been overtly cruel but you may have hurt each other with words or actions to spite the other or for effect/sport. That is kids and siblings and when you are opposites then the clashes are worse. Take the lead by moving on from that or it will never change.

Can you find some common ground, accept differing viewpoints, agree to differ and try to start again on the opposites attract basis, with a new respectful sibling relationship with baby steps - if anything happened to either of you it would be too late for regrets and that you could find a good mutually respectful and rich mature sibling relationship. Think positive, give and take, make that courageous message or letter and give it time.
If nothing else you will know you tried.

Re: Conflicts with my sister

Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2022 1:06 pm
by Ricky _2204
I'm experiencing a vicious cycle. I don't respect emotional decision making whatsoever, and that's all she practices. Our major problems come when we get into debates, which happens often enough. It's gotten so bad that she can't even make it ten minutes without shutting down. She simply cannot tolerate contrary questioning. In turn, I'm rapidly losing respect for her as a mature adult, which leads to even less emotional accommodation from me.

A part of me thinks I should extend some olive branches because of our relationship, but another part just wants to cut ties. I've known her for long enough, and she hasn't shown any attempts to quell her weaknesses.

It's exhausting to support her massive emotional burden. I can't even critique Mad Max without her cutting me off (that was tonight's fight). It feels like I'm speaking to a neurotic infantile time bomb. Pardon the hyperbole.

Re: Conflicts with my sister

Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2022 1:13 pm
by bowlingbun
Dennis, would you like to tell us who you are caring for?
Are the arguments related to your caring role?