[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Carers UK Forum • changes...
Page 1 of 1

changes...

Posted: Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:07 pm
by madeliaette
Just thought i would share this, as so many of us lost loved ones this past year and it is why I am not saddened or distressed at Christmas.

As a young kid, Xmas meant sleeping on a mattress in my parents room on the floor - so they could share my delight when santa's stocking was found to be bulging with gifts in the morning... My grandparents came to us later on, but only for 1-2 years, as I screamed in delight and ran round excitedly shoving my gifts in peoples faces to show off apparently...

During the first 15 years, we spent boxing day at my great aunts. She had a dog, many brass ornamants a brass bugle very old books, boring conversations and tasty nibbles one was only allowed one of - turkish delights, mint chocs, etc. A full meal was laid on the tablecloth in serving dishes and we had to scoop out dollops of this and that onto our plates and i thought it fancy fun. More nibblies, then tea of yule log, cake, sandwiches...

As I aged, I enjoyed going carol singing around the village, ringing the bells at the church, attending midnight mass with my best friend/her family to give my olds a breather. Always hoped for snow...

As a trainee nurse, I got off early and stuck the turkey in the oven - we shared a meal and played trivial pursuit...

As a young mom, I gave my son the same stocking I had had, stuffed with gifts each year, turkey dinners, homemade pud, etc.

Son grew up/I quit going to church and found something more meaningful to me.

Came back to GB and tried to happy-up dad's Christmas, as i began to not bother celebrating for myself. (Son too old for excitement and a non-church goer, self not into commercialism) twice he was ill at Christmas and once he was OK but sulking as he had dementia meds and could not have his usual bottle sherry.

This year... another round of changes. free to start 'not celebrating'...

I feel that accepting/enjoying the changes helps me not to get caught up in the sadness of lost memories that cannot be relived. If I had always tied my heart to the past, I would not be free to find new ways to celebrate/not celebrate. So, I am not saddened by loss of past traditions but feeling free to begin the next stage...

Re: changes...

Posted: Wed Dec 25, 2013 11:08 pm
by Minnie
Wish I had your outlook on life Mad's , very true all you said .
Minnie

Re: changes...

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:59 am
by madeliaette
I posted this as so many of us are caught up in past memories - hoped it might help to see a different view/attitude... So many of us get stuck in a set pattern of life, that when something stops it continuing the same way, it knocks us down and out rather than offering opportunity to adapt, change and move on.

Re: changes...

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:00 am
by Brindleboy123
Thank you for sharing this Mads.

Bell x

Re: changes...

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:18 pm
by no1mum
Thank you Mads, reading your post gives a lot to think about. x x

Re: changes...

Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:10 am
by Treez
Up late...and I was thinking of Christmas's past, when life had all those things you describe ...I have been struggling with my 'new life', and feeling rather lonely even though I am not on my own, it's just that those around me have their own lives to live. I am happy to have snippets, but even those snippets are not what I had hoped they would be for me and my nearest and dearest. Who am I to say what path my families lives should follow? Just me being selfish...So Mads, I apologise unreservedly for my bad behaviour, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me realise I am not alone in those feelings. Your words have been THE most necessary and wonderful Christmas gift and I am glad I was able to take some positivity from your message. It is hard to keep up the momentum of accepting such changes, as Minnie refers to, but for now you have given me something to think about Image . Ta xx