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Are hoildays worth it? - Carers UK Forum

Are hoildays worth it?

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I know I may sound like a misery, But having been back for 6 days now. Having spent a lot of that time unpacking, washing ironing and putting cases away. Also coping with Jan being so tired that she is almost always asleep, and unable to think clearly, concentrate, and join in with the making of domestic day to day plans.

We did, despite this have a really lovely time. Jan, though I now realise hid the fact that she was getting more and more exhausted by the day. Due to the fact that we had the 'Kids and our grandson with us, meant that, 'I took my eye off the ball' a bit as far as Jan was concerned (a lesson well learned).

Jan and I, should have paced ourselves, and not gone out every day, but when it came to it we (she) just could not stay home whilst they went out. This of course didn't help, Jan's fatigue stamina levels.

What do you all think, are holidays worth it?

I'm seriously considering not going away on holiday next year. Jan just can't cope. On top of this she is still awaiting a date for her kidney surgery, to be carried out around mid November.
Next year is a long time away so maybe best waiting till nearer the time before making any definite decisions.

Sometimes a change of scenery can be uplifing in itself. You say lessons were learned this time Jim, so taken on board all you have learned could mean you still go away but a different pace. One to suit Jan more.

When we took mam away we were governed by her body. There were days where she needed complete rest but overall we always found it worth it.
Same old routines morning and evening and night time whether it's a 'holiday' or not. The going out every day is ok for us, it's just the extra tired evening/night stuff that bu**ers both hubs and me about, when we end up shouting at each other cos we're overtired.
Had to turn down an invitation to hubby's only cousin's 60th birthday party, in the middle of January, down in Northamptonshire. We'd have to book a hotel for possibly two nights. We'd have to take a PA with us, cos I can't get hubs in or out of bed on my own without a hoist. It's going to be freezing going to and from the party place and going to and from the van is enough to freeze hubs to the bone. It's not worth us going. Hubs is gutted cos she's his only relative in UK left and he was in tears cos he can't manage it.
Sometimes, you just have to 'give in' to things.
Try and do something else instead that's nice, to make up for it maybe?
Instead of one 'extended' holiday Jimbo - how about a series of mini-breaks or days out spread out over a few months ?

Wouldn't be as much packing / unpacking for you for a start Image

Must admit I've got out of the habit of holidays now - not sure I could cope with all the arrangements Image But I'm thinking of booking some weekends away next year to get me back into the routine Image
I think Im going to give up on holidays. Every time weve had one in the past few years hubbys had a major seizure. Ive cut back on things, tried to make it as easy as possible for him and chosen places that I hope wont be too stressful, but I think its just the change of routine that does it. Im dreading next year when our son is getting married in Birmingham. We will have to stay in a hotel, all out of routine, with lots of excitement. Im just glad he wont have to give the bride away or make a speech Image
I SO sympathise with all you people who care for family members with a physical disability. It must be exhausting and the sheer amount of stuff you have to lug around doesn't help.

I love taking a holiday and compared to some of you it's easier for me. However, hubby and I have only had one one-week holiday alone since DD arrived. The 3 of us usually go abroad for a week and the week revolves around what she wants to do. Walk, swim, eat, drink, walk around shops, visit water parks and so on. Most of that we don't mind but we also like just chilling and wandering around old towns, having a leisurely coffee and watching the world go by. Daughter is always asking "what are we doing next?" Image

Last Spring just DD and I took a week away together to Tenerife and we had a great time. Hubby was too busy. Mind you we did what she wanted 24/7 but the weather was glorious. It is sometimes slightly easier when it's just me and her because she tries to play one of us off against the other to get what she wants.
I haven't had one since 1997 Image so when I get one, I will let you know. RRB
holidays are good but can be very stressful
Yes, holidays are well worth it, as long as you have good company. I've had a lot of good holidays over the past three or four years, in several countries and continents. But it does depend on having stable health - nothing worse than being poorly on holiday. My son has a learning disability, but he enjoys physical challenges and culture, so we have had a lot of fun together enjoying globetrotting and adventure.
Last holiday we had was 5 or 6 years ago kindly paid for by a friend, it was supposed to be 5 nights at a Haven site near Filey, we love the East coast so we were looking forward to it, but Sarah had other ideas, she continually asked where are we going what are we doing, when are we going home, we lasted 2 nights and returned home Image Now with hubbys limited mobility nice long walks on the coast are out so why bother going! Also would have to take Mum with us so no holiday at all for me