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Innocence of children? - Carers UK Forum

Innocence of children?

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Hope this makes you laugh, and isn't offensive.
My seven year old grandson had a lesson about body parts today.
Apparently a ' winky' is really called a privilege!!
Daddy agreed, Mommy on the other hand.....
I'm sure grandson knows the correct name though.
A friend of mine show speaks fluent French says that in France it's a 'baguette'. That could cause translation problems!! :)
When my two nieces were old enough to start asking about where babies came from (and old enough to understand the, er, "mechanics") they looked at my sister in astonishment and said "you did that TWICE ?" :lol: :blush: :lol: :blush:
It's like the old story of the mum who was asked by her kiddie 'Where do I come from?'

She'd prepared the whole spiel, adapted it to the kiddie's level of understanding, and launched into it.

At the end of it he simply looked at her and said 'Oh. My friend Sam comes from Scotland.'

Too much information!!!! :) :)
Brilliant,all of these stories :D :D :D
Fab, :lol: :lol: :lol:

Brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol:

My fave is from my niece. She was seven and already knew the basics of sex education and where babies come from, etc, and took it all in her stride.
Maybe that’s because the only education system she’d known till then was a German influenced one, and they’re big on sex education from a young age.
She came back from the RAF camp Sunday school one day deeply puzzled.

N: Mum, is it true that Mary was married to Joseph?

SIL: That’s right.

N: And Mary gave birth to Jesus?

SIL: Yes.

N: But Jesus was the son of God?

SIL: Yes.


She then folded her arms, stamped her foot and stormed off in a huff to express her solidarity with poor old Joseph.

Given that performance so early, I sincerely hope her husband-to-be never has an affair or she'll have his guts for garters :woohoo:
Oh dear, hope you explained that a virgin birth/'immaculate conception means that Mary was never actually 'unfaithful' to her fiancé!

Have fun explaining the 'abhorred not the Virgin's womb'.....!!!!! (it does get pretty 'technical' at that level!!!!!)

Hi Jenny

I have no intention of explaining “Abhorred wombs” to my niece. I googled that; it all seems to center around ‘Oh Come all you Faithful.’

That was the hymn/carol I was booted out of the school choir from. My hearing has never been good, and we had to sing things in Latin. But we were never actually taught it. There was bound to be a ‘lost in translation’ thingy.

Knowing no better, I ended up belting out at the top of my voice, “Oh Cows in Australia, oh Cows in Australia.”

My voice was poor, but strong. The entire choir ended up singing, “Oh, Cows in Australia.”

When I was dragged down the stairs for a legitimate mistake (or was it?) I was already losing faith.

I lost it totally on my first day of attending State School.

It was a history lesson; the Tudors. The teacher was talking about Bloody Mary. I thought she meant Mary Queen of Scots as she’d had her head chopped off.
I was horrified to find out, eventually, she meant, “Good Queen Mary.”

Good queen Mary was a hero to Catholics. They didn’t mean the Scots queen, but her sister half-sister who executed more than any.

I ran out of the school room yelling that you can’t both be right.

That’s when I lost my faith in ‘grownups’.

They couldn’t even answer the simplest of questions without tying themselves in knots.

I shouldn’t say this, but the best way to un-tie a Gordian Knot is to just cut it in half.
That's what Alexander the Great did .