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Are hoildays worth it? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Are hoildays worth it?

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
Last holiday we had was 5 or 6 years ago kindly paid for by a friend, it was supposed to be 5 nights at a Haven site near Filey, we love the East coast so we were looking forward to it, but Sarah had other ideas, she continually asked where are we going what are we doing, when are we going home, we lasted 2 nights and returned home Image Now with hubbys limited mobility nice long walks on the coast are out so why bother going! Also would have to take Mum with us so no holiday at all for me
Sometimes I take my Mum (88) and my DD for a mid-week break somewhere (very nice villa/mobile home etc) and that's long enough. Mum and I like to knit, read, relax whereas DD wants to be "doing" all the time. We generally have a good laugh but it's not in the least relaxing for me.

can identify with that Penny ... holidays are a change, but definitely not relaxing ....

S has got increasingly anxious on holidays as he has got older and this manifests itself in his health problems escalating and an increase in challenging behaviour. This is harder to deal with when away from home. He too wants to know the exact plan, which is tricky as you can't control the weather.

We stopped going away for our weeks hols and aren't invited to stay with friends anymore.

This year we started practising going away to a hotel for just a night at a time. So far we have done this twice - both times successfully. It takes a lot of planning and S doesn't travel light as every eventuality has to be planned for it. It still isn't a rest for me, but it is definitely a change AND boosts both our confidence when it goes well.

Oh that's good Melly - AND it means you don't have to cook hey? Image
I consider a good holiday being away from home, from work, from the responsibility for any food. In fact, being bone idle! A week of this and I've recharged my batteries and I'm raring to go again. I love travelling, seeing new places etc. etc. but always come back from that sort of holiday feeling as if I need another to recuperate.
I think you've partially answered the question youself,or are you looking for an excuse not to go? Surely the washing and ironing doesn't take that long and as for putting the cases away........
I wouldn't go on holiday with anyone else.The two of us do what we want to do when we want to do it and if Sue wants to stay in for the day then that's what we do, although that doesn't happen often.I just need a larger vehicle for all of the equipment,but miss a holiday,never.We've already booked next years, to make sure we get the accessible accomodation we need.
Why do you feel the need to not have a holiday at all, Jim?

Sure, Jan has pushed herself too far this time and exhausted herself but you are both aware now that this might happen next year so you'll be better able to factor it into your plans and give her a rest day - say every other day. I take it that the "kids" are grown ups and able to go out by themselves if they'd like to? (I don't recall you mentioning them before) If so, you could all do something together one day, then the next you and Jan could have some "quality time" in as a couple where she can rest and you can both take the time to enjoy each other's company if Jan has the energy, if not, you could take a couple of books or something to read when she sleeps.

On your days out, you could break up your activities into sections of say an hour (or less if she needs it) and stop to have a "drink break" which might help her to re-coup some energy to carry on (That's what we do... but next year, we'll be taking more drink breaks because I can't walk as far now).
I definitely think that holidays are 'worth it', even if all you gain from them is a better understanding of how to utilise your time / plan excursions more effectively etc. for 'next time'.

I was fortunate enough to take a holiday to DisneyWorld, Orlando with my mum and sister two years ago. They were both in wheelchairs and it was physically demanding for me (although all the pushing gave me the quickest, toned bikini body I've ever had! Image ). However, with my sister suffering from learning difficulties, all of the physical strain was worth it just to see the joy she expressed every day. She's never been as 'well' as she was on that trip. Daily trips to the pool eased her muscular pain, (she has CP and has always been reluctant to do her physio!) the sunshine relaxed her so her seizure activity lessened... It was definitely worth it to give her 3 weeks of fun and health.

Ultimately, I suppose it's where you go and what you do. Not everyone will have a positive experience, obviously. I enjoyed getting away from the stress of paperwork, social workers etc. You still have the carer demands whilst you're away but sometimes a different environment helps people cope better. Stress is always going to be there when you get back but any period of calm is good in my books!

My wife has motor neurons disease, and although I understand what you mean about the stress etc of going on holiday.. I don't agree that you should say about not going again.. I tell my wife all the time that a holiday is a good thing to get her away from the same day to day things. And think of this we have to take 2 ventilators,2 spare batteries,2 cough assisters,1 power wheelchair.oh and of course all the luggage.
Although its a lot I make sure we manage just so I can get her away on holiday, Mnd is a awful disease and while my wife is still with us I will do anything to make her time here happy as possible..
I hope you manage to carry on with you're hols..
Ian, I have HUGE respect for you even thinking about a holiday under those circumstances. Times like this I think there should be a "Very Best Carer" award.
As far as I can remember, holidays are worth the effort. (Haven't had a holiday for over nine years).

Probable some adjustments would make a difference, such as pacing yourselves by alternating busy days with more relaxing days. Everyone speaks about the washing, etc, when they get home from holidays but it doesn't have to be done all on one day so just bung in one load of washing at a time and it's soon dealt with.