Hi Jenny
I find all that you say very interesting. I have never had counselling, I have never felt the need I suppose, I think I am a strong person and very private. My experiences have made me stronger and more able to understand other peoples' pain in similar circumstances. It has made me a person who does not stand for nonsense, will not wallow in self-pity and will always stand up to bullies. So inadvertently, my father did my character good! In a weird way.

Funnily, I don't feel satisfaction really at my father's plight, this surprises me. I used to hate him so much and used to say I would dance on his grave. But now,with maturity and the passage of time, I just feel sorry for him really, that he has missed out on so much. All his family have deserted him and he has missed out on his grand-children completely. Life could have been so good but he just would not let it be.