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A Tax rose is but a rose by any other name - Page 36 - Carers UK Forum

A Tax rose is but a rose by any other name

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
687 posts
Bugger ,don't know what else to say .
Welcome back Saj, I was hoping you were living the 'happy ever after'. Is your knight in shining armour still around? Sorry about your bro but glad he is improving. Don't let the bad memories take over, surely your mum wouldn't have wanted that? Honour her with memories of the good times at Christmas. I've brought all my Mum's Christmas decs, some of them from my childhood, back to my house and they are mixed with mine and shining brightly. Good memories in every room. I've even put her last card on display with its lovely message to me.
Chin up.
She Wolf

My problems are different to yours, but the same in essence. I still can’t watch the programs she loved.

I know exactly how you feel. Today is the day Mum died exactly a year ago. My flash points when I’m flicking through the channels… Deal or no Deal, Countdown, Miss Marple, Mrs Brown’s boys. Whenever I see them flash up on the screen I feel funny and head off elsewhere.

But I was determined that Dad and me would honour her death today, and not be all miserable and negative about it. After all, she was 85 (a good innings) and died in her own room, without pain (I think; no morphine pump wasn’t needed as she was in a natural death coma.)
What better way is there to go?

So I took Dad off to a meal at Mum’s favourite place to eat; a gorgeous local pub we took her to for anniversaries and birthdays; when she was mobile and compes mentis enough. Even when she wasn’t she still loved the camaraderie of 10 – 12 people getting on with their lives around a family table.

I could see her getting off on it, even if she didn’t always understand the fast talking Face Book stuff (I don’t myself.)

I embarrassed my Dad by insisting on a toast to my mother. He accused me of being “Over dramatic.”

I accused him of being,”Under dramatic.”

We’re still working on it.

We’ll get there…..eventually


SM and me are still an Item (I hate that word.) But he’s had his own problems, which in many ways are greater than my own.

We may be total opposites in many ways.... but I really like him. Is that so wrong?


A corny song, but that's what I FELT for two months.

He's now almost up to waight but not quite.
Hi Saj, lovely to see you here again. Christmas as you get older is a mix of so many emotions. I'm happier for this one than a long, long time. We've "weathered the storm" is probably the best way of putting it. Just me and my two "boys" for Christmas, even if they are nearly 38 and 40. Grandson coming for Boxing Day.
I've always loved the song "He ain't heavy". Sometimes I hear Elton John singing "I'm still standing" and give a wry smile!
Hi Saj
Can't think of any reason whatsoever why it should be 'wrong'. May be difficult and a bit challenging on occasion but do you really want a 'yes dear' kind of personality as the man in your life? Rather dull and boring don't you think? Fireworks light up the sky after all.
Glad to hear bro is close to acceptable weight. Well done you -again, and well done him too.
Dad probably gets a bit choked when you make what he calls 'dramatic' gestures. Mustn't get tearful or anything, not 'manly'. Better to grumble. Probably appreciated it on the quiet.
No my father does not remember the time he was a times a commando. Does he? I wpould to known.
Hi Sajehar,
Lovely to hear from you. I'm so glad you are still seeing your man.

Wow, you did well with your brother, you must've been so worried.

Sounds like you honoured your Mum's anniversary in a fitting way, with your Dad.

Take care this Christmas,

Sajehar ,i don't think it is a corny song ,there are times i can not bear to listen to it .
Take care all the best .
687 posts