I haven’t written about this before because I didn’t want to somehow jinx The Kid. But his big day is now over, it’s all in the lap of the Gods.
Basically SM has been adopted by a Billy the kid. Shortly after SM joined the food bank, some scrawny scally, who loathed SM, attacked him while he was loading his car with food parcels. The kid head butted SM in the arse, Billy goat style, challenging SM to a fight. SM insists it was the small of the back (well, he would, wouldn’t he.)
The Kid didn’t stand a chance but, in that inexplicable way of teenagers, went from loathing SM to hero worshiping him in the bat of an eyelid. He took to following SM around like a puppy dog, wanting to be SM’s assistant. SM pointedly ignored him. But The Kid’s persistence was, well, persistent.
For instance, The Kid would ask if SM wanted a cup of tea. SM would say “No, thank you,” but The Kid got him one anyway, cheerily declaring, “I asked around how you like it – Strong and white how you like women with two sugars – can I be your assistant?”
SM was secretly impressed – annoyed but impressed – by The Kid’s dogged determination.
SM: I’ll strike a deal with you. You owe me something. IF you can work out what it is, and why you owe it to me, and then give it to me THEN I’ll consider – but only consider mind – making you my assistant… on a trial basis.
The poor kid was utterly perplexed, and after a couple of hours of him scratching his head trying to work out SM’s cryptic words another worker took pity on The Kid and let The Kid know that he owed SM an apology. He even had to explain what an apology was, apparently.
The Kid: I know, I know, I know… I owe you an apology.
SM: Correct, but why do you owe me an apology?
The Kid: Because I head butted you?
SM: Yes, but why do you owe me an apology for head butting me?
The Kid: Because, because, because…. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m really, really sorry.
SM: Apology accepted.
The Kid: Does that mean I’m your assistant?
SM: On a trial basis only. Here are the rules: Whatever I say goes; no lip or funny business.
The Kid: Yes.
SM: You are always punctual. An assistant I can’t rely on is useless. If you turn up late without good reason, you are out on your ear. Get it?
The Kid: Yes.
SM: Politeness costs nothing… drop the shrug; it does nothing for your posture.
The Kid: Ehh?
SM: Fine… I’d like one of your excellent cups of tea, thank you.
SM taught him how to pack boxes, follow routes and do lots of loads and daft little things that lightened SM’s load.
I’m not knocking that. But what SM really discovered, quite by accident, is that The Kid is a mathematician of quite exceptional ability.
And that’s why today is so important. The Kid sat his maths exams. He’s missed out on so much schooling (bullying according to SM) could he catch up?
SM, the Welfare Rights officer, and his Case Worker have been fighting his case…. They got him his home tuition… Yehh!
I hope it got the exam results they wanted.