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A Tax rose is but a rose by any other name - Page 20 - Carers UK Forum

A Tax rose is but a rose by any other name

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
687 posts

Thanks so much for the heads up on UTI’s. I’d completely forgotten about them, and tend to associate them with happening to women rather than to men.
We had a load of PH strips left over from when I used them on mum. So I made him do a test thing first thing the next morning. It was awful purple looking, so I got an out of hours doc to come round.
He took his own test and put dad on a short course of antibots.
Now here’s what I don’t understand. I recently had a uti (cystitis) and was in agony; I felt as though I was pissing razor blades. Dad exhibited no pain, but according to the doc’s quick analysis he did have a uti.

SM has been very helpful and understanding. He pointed out that my brothers laughing at dad’s senior moment was probably gallows humour; it happens a lot in the armed forces, and one of my bros was in them for 22 years (he was the worst 'offender'.) Actions speak louder than words. Did not he give up 2.5 days of his holidays to look after dad so that I could have an unfettered birthday? He’d even arranged for his holiday to coincide with my birthday for that very reason. They’ve even rearranged their life so they can be more on call to help me out in future.

He’s right; I over reacted. But now I think he’s over reacting. I received a letter from the health centre inviting me for some health MOT check-up thing. He thinks I should take them up on it.

SM: I didn’t want to say anything, but I think you’ve lost too much weight over too short a time. It might be an idea to get checked out.

I think the reasons why are obvious, but to shut him up I’ve agreed to my MOT this afternoon. I must admit the really nice trousers my bro bought me for Christmas are now really annoying. I could barely get them on then, and noways could I do up the zip. Now they’re so baggy, I constantly have to hitch them up (I must get a belt.) And just yesterday, I managed to take them off without having to undo the buttons or zip.
SM may have a point but, to be honest, I’m not complaining. I’m simply getting back to the size I was before I became mum’s full time carer. The thing is, is that I haven’t even tried to lose weight; it just happened of its own accord. So maybe that MOT isn’t such a bad idea.

Talking about down-sizing, SM was so infuriated about the ESA cuts that he cancelled his membership of the Conservative party in protest. To be honest, he sees far more than myself how cuts are effecting people because of the food bank he works in. To think I only insisted he volunteer at one as a joke bet and to annoy him.

Fingers crossed, and weather permitting, I shall finally get to see this red squirrel sanctuary next weekend.
Me: So much for “vorsprung durch technic”, eh? (Sarky sniggers ensued.) You should’ve bought a Jap car. My 16 year old Suzuki has never broken down once; it’s a right proper little work horse.

SM: It didn’t break down, and thanks for the sympathy.

Me: Same difference.

SM: No it’s not.

Me: Yes it is.

SM: No it’s not…

And so on and so forth, until we agreed to agree to disagree. Actually his car didn’t break down, but it did really.
He’d turned up at the food bank to do his outreach food run, loaded his car up with the weeks’ worth of food parcels, went to start his car, and the bloody key snapped off in the ignition bit.
Now drivers, with free time, to do these outreach runs are at a premium, so he went back into the food bank to explain the situation.

A nun in her sixty’s volunteered to drive him on his round in her mini van, if he’d do the physical lifting and carrying, and give her directions.
I should explain the food bank that SM volunteers at is run on a wing and a prayer by a mish mash of religions; everything from nuns, Sikhs, Jews, Muslims and atheists working alongside on another from a Baptist (or is it Methodist, I can never remember which) property.

SM told me this story about how the Baptists/Methodists were very strict on who received food parcels; only those with vouchers.
But the nuns and Sikhs banded together, and smuggled out food to the rough sleepers/dossers behind their backs. They were eventually caught in their smuggling activities. The nuns/Sikhs defence was that all gods’ creatures deserve food. They won, but they still have to do it surreptitiously.

Anyway, the nun who was his driver was the main defender of the food bank smuggling operation. According to SM, that urban myth that nuns are total manic drivers is true. He’d never been so terrified in his life.
Her belief that God would protect her meant that the Highway Code didn’t apply.

SM: I’d rather go into battle than face driving with a nun; it’s far safer!

Me: You survived to tell the tale. Now are you coming around tonight or not?

SM: Well, I do have a motorbike at home as well as at my parents. Japanese as it happens; Kawasaki. Does that meet with your approval?

Me: Now who’s being sarky?

SM: See you later.

I think my health MOT went well, I think? I refused to discuss it with SM because he’s such a fuddy-duddy paniker. But I’m to go for more tests (appointments in the post.) I passed most with flying colours, but there were a couple I failed miserably on.
I’m anaemic (big deal), my lung capacity wasn’t awful, but not great either (stop smoking) but she was genuinely puzzled by my rapid weight loss and family history.

Nurse: Do you ever suffer from thirst?

Me: Are you kidding me? I never suffer from thirst coz I drink loads of de-caff and water.

Nurse: Do you drink loads because you are thirsty?

Me: How should I know? I never let myself get to that stage.

Nurse: Hummm! Do you urinate a lot.

Me: Of course I do; especially in cold weather; bladders shrink then.

She then measured my height, and waist, and my BMI is totally normal (21.3) and my blood pressure was lower than normal.

She now wants me to do some fasting test thing (details in the post.) She doesn’t think I am diabetic – everything else goes against that – but she wants to rule it out for certain.

There is no way I am diabetic – or prediabetic – I don’t even like sugar. I have a savoury tooth, not a sweet one.
But I’ll do her stupid test anyway.
Now we are arguing about programs and penguins.

Me: I want to see that program about ‘Penguins and Pilgrims’…. I love stuff about penguins.

SM was intrigued, so I explained I’d once heard a radio program when I was about ten about the migratory pattern of penguins with my mother..I asked her who read it out – I loved his voice, it sent tingles down my spine, I was entranced – she told me it was James Mason.
I plugged her for info. I then sent off a letter to Hollywood (no other details) informing him I was going to marry him because I liked his voice!!!!

SM: Did you ever receive a reply?

Me: No… but I still want to see this program about penguins.

SM: Fine… just one problem. It’s actually called ‘Pagans and Pilgrims.’ I don’t think it has anything to do with penguins.

Me: What a bummer. Let’s watch it anyway…. We are…. It’s fascinating. It’s all about Ethelred instead of penguins. I’m not so sure they’re so different.
Penguins and Pilgrims :D i love it ,easily done my mum once mixed up the films Gone to earth and Gone with the wind ,she said but the girl is called Scarlet .
And i thought John Steinbeck's novel was called Mince and Men, when i read it i wondered where all the ground up beef was . :)
I’m still in shock because, for once, my unreliable brother actually turned up on time; and at 8am too!!!! That is a miracle on a par with the feeding of the 5000.
Just as well as SM and me couldn’t have gone on the walk he’d planned otherwise as it was tightly tied to a tide time table (awful lot of ‘t’s there; I’ve just invented a tongue twister.)
We were to walk from mine to his via the coastline. Have a bite to eat at his, then walk back to mine via the inland walker’s way. I was up for it.

We went over the sand dunes to the next townlet, and had a coffee. I wanted to take a short cut across the golf course to the sand dunes, but he insisted we did it the proper, and longer, way.

Me: But I know the short cuts.

SM: We’ll interfere with the golfers.

Me: Bollocks! You just do a mad dash across the green before the next lot come up. I did it loads of times.

SM: 40 years ago! I have no desire to be hit in the head by a golf ball. Besides, I want the exercise.

Me: Fair enough…. I trained my dog to nick the golf balls off the green to supplement my pocket money. He was supposed to then drop them at my feet, and then I’d sell them back to the golfers in the club house.

SM: That’s appalling.

Me: Don’t get your nickers in a twist. Rusty nicked them all right, but he’d just run off into the rough with them. Those golfers had us kids scouring the rough for their misplaced golf balls and pay us like 10p for everyone we found. I just thought I’d speed up the process. Didn’t work…. Good idea though, if only Rusty had played ball with the second half of my cunning plan.

After coffee, and SM discovering I was a proto criminal at the tender age of 12, we set of the second half of our hike to his. It was along the shore line I’d never actually been along. The weather was a bit squally, but really bracing; I loved it.

Me: SM, the tide is coming in really quick. Are we going to make it?

SM: I’ve done this walk many times; we are well ahead of the tide. I’d never do this walk without consulting the tide time tables otherwise.

Me: I don’t doubt that for one minute… let’s have a race?

SM: What on earth for? Are you worried the tide will catch you? Look, the steps are coming up.

Those steps looked a million miles high to me. By the time we got to his I was knackered.
He rustled up some noodle stir fry thing that was dead tasty. That perked me up.

He then gave me a box. I opened it; it was a really beautiful necklace; more like a torque necklet really.

SM: Call it a late birthday present. I couldn’t find one I thought would suit you, so I got you a biker’s jacket instead. Not a very feminine present. But when I saw this one….. I thought of you. I wanted real aquamarines, your birth stone, but….

Me: Oh, stuff them… I love it. Is it Russian?

SM: I don’t think so, I got it in Chester.

Me: Oh!

SM: Try not to sound too disappointed.

Me: I do that a lot, don’t I?

SM: Yes….. Would you like to try it on?

Me: To bloody right I would. What’s your birth stone then?

SM: Emeralds.

Me: Well, don’t expect them from me…. Unless I can persuade you to vote green.

SM: Humm….

I liked it so much that I insisted that I wore it on the country walk back. He wasn’t too keen on that, but what’s the point of having something you really like if you don’t like wearing it? My black polo neck showed it off to perfection.

I assumed he’d spent about 20-30 quid on this necklace/torque. I looked it up on the internet later. It took me a while, but he’s spent nearly £500 on it? That’s insane.

http://www.swarovski.com/Web_GB/en/5229 ... klace.html

Now what do I do? I really want to give it back, but I really want to keep it too. I am in a quandary.
That's love Saj. What you do is pretend you never looked it up but secretly relish the expense. Don't you dare give it back. Why would you want to hurt him like that? Just wear it often and remark to anyone in his hearing how much you love it.
Lucky, lucky girl.
PS have you got a safe?
Love isn't spending loadsa money on silly trinkets: love is choosing the silly trinkets with care and imagination.
Saj: please don't ever do that again: it is very insulting to check the price of a gift online. What is £500 to one person is £5 to another - and anyway, he sounds to me like the kind of guy who negotiated a 75% discount, because he knows what things are really worth, and knows how to cut a deal.

Forget the safe: most burglars have incredibly poor judgement: that's why they are burglars, not Sotheby's valuers. Leave the burglars some worthless bling to drool over.
I'm with Scally on this: he chose that with care, and clearly the cost was not the issue. If he'd found the right thing at £20 he'd have got it - it had to be right.

And it clearly was...
687 posts