A Tax rose is but a rose by any other name

[david c]

Hi Sajehar ,i eat the apple pips as well ,thanks for the link.
Betty Davies had a feud with another Hollywood star named Joan Crawford ,it reached a peak when they were starring in a film called What ever happened to baby Jane .
http://www.black-and-white-movies.com/b ... wford.html
You might have heard some horror stories about carers ,not like this ,you will have to watch the film to find out .

[david c]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=648-2RE4XAk
Here is the clip i was on about ,no carer of the year award for her.

[Sajehar]

Oh bugger! My temporary tooth has fallen out. I now have to get it re-stuck in. I was only eating soup when it fell out, and I damn near chocked on the blasted thing. My dad’s idea of putting chewing gum over it didn’t work.

I hope the permanent one is more permanent.

[Sajehar]

Maybe I’m being paranoid. I hope so. Dad made me promise that I’d say something if I thought he was getting dementia, etc.
That’s easier said than done. But today something happened that is way out of the ordinary. He has such a crap memory that I’m used to him leaving his keys in the door, putting milk in the cupboard as opposed to the fridge, forgetting what I’ve said 5 minutes earlier… senior moments.

But today I was rung up at about 7.30 am. I ran into the house, dad was nowhere to be seen; his bed was made. I replied like 30 seconds later, just to get his answer machine.
I was so relieved when friends turned him up. He’d gone out walking (something I’ve encouraged) but not at that hour, without his keys, and not remembering where he lived.

I do hope this is a massive senior moment, and not the start of what I’m dreading. Thank god for dog walkers… thank you!

I’ve now got to explain this to SM…. Stuff him!

[susieq]

Sajehar if you're really worried (and it sounds as if you might have to reason to be )then I'd suggest getting Dad to his GP for an initial assessment as soon as possible.

If it turns out to be nothing to be worried about (perhaps a result of grieving for your Mum?) then you can stop worrying; but if it turns out to be something more serious then, this early on, you have plenty of time to start researching support.

(looking back I can now see that my Mum was exhibiting sings of dementia a couple of years before she was actually diagnosed; but at the time I had no experience of dementia so with hindsight I now know that we could have got help a lot earlier)

[bowlingbun]

Really sorry to hear about dad. Please let your guard down and let SM share your concerns and give you some moral support, and a big bear hug. Learning to share can be difficult when you've been fiercely independent (my OH complained that was my biggest fault in our early years), but a problem shared is a problem halved. From what you have written about him, I'm sure SM would be pleased to help (his Army days must have been difficult at times). Don't drive him away, because you are going to need him more than ever soon. He will understand if you are preoccupied about dad, there is no finite amount of love, you don't have to choose between them. Maybe ask him, as a relative outsider, if he thinks your concerns are justified, as a first step?

[Sajehar]

Something I’ll try to forget. I cannot forget that one of my brothers was actually laughing. Whilst I was actually panicking, they were laughing. Try living with this day out and in.

I’ve no idea how SM will react later tonight, but I’ll give it a bloody good try.

He reacted very well. He has similar problems with his parents; do I have PTA?

Me: What the hell is that?

SM: Power of attorney

Me: I don’t think I need that…. But dad did something similar years ago…

Now I’m all confused?.

[bowlingbun]

I've not heard it described as a PTA before, I wonder if this is a forces term - Power to Act? It would be a really good idea to ask dad on a good day if he can tell you where the Power of Attorney is kept, or ask his solicitor? Better to know where it is and not need it, than the other way round. I do like your SM.

[SheWolf]

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[Violet]

Sajehar - Have you had dad's urine tested for UTI? First time hubby had UTI I could not believe how badly it affected him - total confusion and unable even to walk. It affects people in many different ways and the sooner they get started on antibiotic the better. OH has dementia - I hope and pray that your dad does not. x