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Carers UK Forum • A Pam Ayres poem.
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A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 9:04 pm
by Pete the Paint
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

The missus bought a Paperback
Down Shepton Mallet way.
I had a look inside her bag
'Twas Fifty Shades Of Grey
Well I just left her to it,
And at 10 I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
for the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I
can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 9:26 pm
by bowlingbun
That's lovely. I used to love her Sunday evening programmes, mum gave me some of her readings on tape, so funny.

Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 11:05 pm
by crocus
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Thank you pete - best laugh Iv had all week

Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 8:53 am
by india77
Pete Image Image Brilliant! couldn't stop laughing!

Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 1:50 pm
by Anne001
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Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:02 pm
by no1mum
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Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:08 pm
by Nilla
That's given us a right giggle thanks Pete x

Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:19 pm
by titch
Thank you so much Pete - I was feeling a bit down today but you really mad me laugh with that one. Big Thank You

Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 4:30 pm
by rosemary
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Re: A Pam Ayres poem.

Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 5:32 pm
by JHR57
That has just allowed me the very first chuckle of the week, haven't felt anything like smiling so far this week but I must admit Pete this turned the corners up xxxxxxxxxxx