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A Pam Ayres poem. - Carers UK Forum

A Pam Ayres poem.

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

The missus bought a Paperback
Down Shepton Mallet way.
I had a look inside her bag
'Twas Fifty Shades Of Grey
Well I just left her to it,
And at 10 I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
for the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I
can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
That's lovely. I used to love her Sunday evening programmes, mum gave me some of her readings on tape, so funny.
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Thank you pete - best laugh Iv had all week
Pete Image Image Brilliant! couldn't stop laughing!
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That's given us a right giggle thanks Pete x
Thank you so much Pete - I was feeling a bit down today but you really mad me laugh with that one. Big Thank You
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That has just allowed me the very first chuckle of the week, haven't felt anything like smiling so far this week but I must admit Pete this turned the corners up xxxxxxxxxxx