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Truths for mature adults - Carers UK Forum

Truths for mature adults

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Truths For Mature Humans


1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
3. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
5. Was learning cursive really necessary?
6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. Matt has one of these moments EVERY day Image Image

11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
13. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
14. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
15. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
19. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

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21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
Actually, I can't! We keep a CD player next to the bed for audiobooks etc. When the alarm goes off I automatically press stop on the CD player. When that doesn't work I do the little switchy thing that changes it from 'CD' to 'Off'. When that doesn't work I press the stop button on the tape player, that ejects the tape which I subsequently remove and am in a frenzied state of half asleep wondering why the noise still won't stop as the tape isn't even in the tape deck anymore! It's usually around the point when I'm half schlumped out of bed and reaching for the plug by the wall that my wife reminds me that it's the alarm clock on the other side of the bed that's making the noise.... You'd be surprised how many mornings I've done this... Usually accompanied by monosyllabic and increasingly grumpy noises of sleep. Image
Chances are I'll do it tomorrow morning!

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