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Carers UK Forum • One liners - Page 3
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Here are some more one-liners

Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2010 11:08 pm
by amy green
Here are some more one-liners (from my joke collection):-
- A pessimist is an optimist with experience
- The meek shall inherit the earth ... they're too weak to refuse!
- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later
- Beethoven was so deaf, he thought he was a painter!
- Paranoia is seeing things as they really are
- I was an Atheist, until I realised I was God!
- If you can tell the difference between good and bad advice, you don't need advice.
- I wouldn't say he was emotional, but he cries if the traffic light is against him
- It was love at first sight, then I took a second look
- There's one thing money can't buy - poverty!
- You can't have everything ... where would you put it?
- I've always eaten beef; it's never done any harm to moo.
- The trouble with all day breakfast is you have to eat so slowly.
- He who laughs last didn't get the joke!

WISHING YOU ALL A LIGHTER, BRIGHER NEW YEAR - always look for balance/lighter side

Re: One liners

Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:31 pm
by BertieBear
Each person is an individual - just like everyone else.

I firmly believe that each person should be treated equally. Especially me!

Re: One liners

Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:47 pm
by cupcake 2011
What do you buy the man who has everything? Antibiotics Image

Re: One liners

Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:38 pm
by Dipsy
Image Image
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it, pee on it and walk away.
Image Image

Re: One liners

Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:05 pm
by amy green
If at first you don't succeed .... so much for hang-gliding!
" " " " " " - maybe success isn't your style!
" " " " " " - try reading the manual!

Re: One liners

Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2011 7:09 pm
by Sprinter
In golf, as in life, it is the follow through that makes the difference.