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One liners - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

One liners

Please feel free to join in or start any games.
Here are some more one-liners (from my joke collection):-
- A pessimist is an optimist with experience
- The meek shall inherit the earth ... they're too weak to refuse!
- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later
- Beethoven was so deaf, he thought he was a painter!
- Paranoia is seeing things as they really are
- I was an Atheist, until I realised I was God!
- If you can tell the difference between good and bad advice, you don't need advice.
- I wouldn't say he was emotional, but he cries if the traffic light is against him
- It was love at first sight, then I took a second look
- There's one thing money can't buy - poverty!
- You can't have everything ... where would you put it?
- I've always eaten beef; it's never done any harm to moo.
- The trouble with all day breakfast is you have to eat so slowly.
- He who laughs last didn't get the joke!

WISHING YOU ALL A LIGHTER, BRIGHER NEW YEAR - always look for balance/lighter side
Each person is an individual - just like everyone else.

I firmly believe that each person should be treated equally. Especially me!
What do you buy the man who has everything? Antibiotics Image
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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it, pee on it and walk away.
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If at first you don't succeed .... so much for hang-gliding!
" " " " " " - maybe success isn't your style!
" " " " " " - try reading the manual!
In golf, as in life, it is the follow through that makes the difference.