One liners

[no1mum]

Ways to say someone's not too bright


Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

The meek shall inherit the earth.....after we're through with it.

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.

[nelliejo]

[charles47]

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look surprised!

[no1mum]

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look surprised!

[no1mum]

Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!

[BertieBear]

You should never quit while you're ahead. Just think what it would do to the Olympics!

If the sky's the limit, where do astronauts go?



By the way, I once heard the phrase "The sky's the limit" at the end of a radio advert for something or other but (and this is just fantastic!) it was quickly followed by the disclaimer "Terms and conditions apply"!

[Jimbo]

You can't beet a boiled egg

You can't hang a man with a wooden leg

Why do lumber jacks chop down trees only to saw them up again?

If it's human to err, what is it to 'im

If you put on a clean pair of socks every day, by Sunday you won't be able to put on your boots

[Guest]

As one door closes another one slams in your face.

A friend in need is a bleeding nuisance.

In any job aways start at the bottom and work your way up unless you are digging a well.

[susieq]

"I saw it with my own eyes"

well, who else's eyes are you going to see it with

[BertieBear]

"It's always in the last place you look."

Once you've found it, you're not exactly going to carry on looking are you?