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Bad joke marathon - Page 6 - Carers UK Forum

Bad joke marathon

Please feel free to join in or start any games.
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers :D
Why have the elephants got big ears because noddy won't pay the ransom


What kind of pictures do turtles take?
19 and 20 had a fight, 21.

I don't know why we don't send more astronauts to the moon.
It's not exactly rocket science is it??

I was talking with my wife the other night, and we decided that we only want one child.
The twins overheard and are now worried!

I went home early one day and my wife was in bed. I heard a noise in the wardrobe and opened the door.
Inside was a naked man!
I asked her what was going on, she said:
You remember when you lost your job and couldn't pay the mortgage? Well this man gave me the money to pay it.
You remember when the car broke down and I said I had won a brand new one in a competition? Well this man
bought us that car.
You remember when you wanted to go for a cruise on your birthday and I said I won one in a competition? Well
this man paid for it.
I looked at him shivering in the wardrobe, looked at her and said....

Don't just lie there, give him a blanket to warm him up.
Haha...good thread. Guys having fun..
The mother in law came for lunch on Sunday and while sitting at the table she moaned, "Why is the dog sitting here on the floor staring at me?"

I replied, "you're using his plate".

I've just accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles.

My next poo could spell disaster.


Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local factory. After a while the first guy says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The second guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even.


It's been reported that the man who invented Spellcheck has died. News is, the funfair's on Sundial.