<t>Mistymog - hi - I am new here too (elderly MIL). But I wanted to say that I know what you are - and, alas, will be - going through in terms of the cancer. My husband died of cancer (kidney) five years ago and was diagnosed terminal right from the off.<br/> <br/> From what I've already seen here, ...

<t>Having 'plotted myself in' with my own situation, I just wanted to echo my aggreement with Bowling bun - it is their choice how they live, and if they don't want scooters, glasses, hearing aids etc, then that's that. Leave them to it (but don't compensate by doing the work for them that they woul...

<t>It's been very interesting reading this thread. I am new here, joined this afternoon, and it is enlightening me already. In a totally terrifying way....<br/> <br/> My situation is 'looming'. In brief, I lost my husband at 55 to cancer, five years ago, my MIL was herself widowed 30 years ago, also...

<t>"The one thing that did annoy me was after I pointed out to the Social Worker I was not going to sell the house which was jointly owned by my father and myself she kept on saying I would be more comfortable in a smaller house and the surplus proceeds could be used to pay the nursing home fees ins...

<t>That's iniquitous. Is there any way you can take more out of your mum's house etc (or whatever is left), as your 'fees' so to speak for the responsibility and duties you have carried out when they haven't?? <br/> <br/> A friend of mine is in a similar situation. She does about two thirds of the c...

<t>Hi, I'm going to say something incredibly 'harsh' - but it's true.<br/> <br/> Your father in law has had his life. Your children are only just starting theirs.<br/> <br/> That means your father's needs do NOT rank higher than your children's. They can't, they mustn't.<br/> <br/> I know what I've ...

No one's mentioned anger. It's the flip side of guilt.

<t>Hi, this is a very tentative answer - I've only just joined the forum. I have an elderly relative who is needing more care now as she ages. She is, I fear, reluctant to bathe, mostly because it's difficult to get in and out of her bath (she can manage a shower when she is with me) (not hair washi...