Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply - you all speak so much sense. I am reading and re-reading to take it all in. Jenny, you are so perceptive and summed up exactly the lifelong relationship. My behaviour I think is over-compensatory (at high cost to myself) knowing that I don't and h...

His care would have been only partially self-funded but he still refused, as he is able to shower and dress himself, although it wears him out and takes a long time. He gets angry with me for interfering when I make suggestions. It's hard to know what to do for the best. He wants his wife back, he w...

Thank you so much for replies - I am reading, re-reading and digesting. Yes I am definitely clapped out at 54. What I find difficult is deciding what I should and shouldn't do and allow, in my role. Giving myself permission. After the stroke, he had Early Discharge Community Rehab carers in 3 times ...

I am such a lightweight when compared to what other people are coping with - and a failure as a 'distance carer'. I don't know where to start .... please excuse the ramble. My widowed (grieving) 86 year old father had a stroke in May this year. He lives a two hour drive away. Initially, I stayed wit...