I think you've got a lot of good advice here - you seem to have an awful lot of 'hangers-on' living in your space. That certainly can't make for a happy household, and your life needs to be as calm as it can possibly be. You've a tremendous amount of stress. I'd also consider contacting CAB about yo...
Oh I'm so so tired! And I've had a 'makeover'! the bottom line Jenny is that my brother and I have decided we can't do anything about my sister giving more help, she's not capable and gets 'defensive/passive aggressive' if we try. it's very sad. I'm getting to the end of my tether, and I feel I coul...
Dear Pet, I think you've gone through a very difficult journey on something of a roller-coaster ride very quickly, I think one of the last things you should be thinking about is CoP, they charge for administration and if your finances are separate there should be no need to get them involved. Please...
Dear Pamela, I hope things are going okay with you now your Dad's home and that your Mum's accepting more help (or at least thinking about it!) I think it's important that both you and Mum stay motivated - if she seems to 'backslide' and start relying on you, you need to keep on at her to be more in...
No - this isn't my area of expertise either. But I think you have to surmount your feelings of guilt and think what's best for the two of you. Introducing respite care gradually may work - and you do have to think of the future - if you leave it for long it will be harder. the older you get the hard...
Hello Karen, I'm not going to mess around - if you've been looking after Dad for 16 yrs then yes I think you should seriously looking at nursing home care - and no you're not selfish. If I get to your years of caring then my Mum will be 105!! I doubt I'll last that long! Your comment about the two s...
Very good advice from bowlingbun, the thing is to try not to be confrontational when you speak to Mum about your joint situation - and you need to keep saying you're just as stressed by it all as she is, remind her you're as much as person as her - and you have needs too.
Dear Jane, I'm so sorry for your loss and your experience of the nursing home and funding. Continuing care is a misnomer, it's assessed frequently and can be taken away if the person is deemed to no longer require it - unfortunately care homes don't reduce their fees accordingly. And relatives are e...
I think your Mum is putting you in a classic emotional blackmail/manipulation situation, which is not always easy to recognize as you're in the 'thick of it' and can often be too close to see it. Been there, done that as have many of us. The fact that you say you feel 'guilty' and 'harsh' and you wr...
You can complain about your social worker, I've friends who are social workers and they all know bad ones - unfortunately these really are people who have your life in their hands - find out who's the head of SS in your area and complain to them. Their structure is so convoluted it can be hard to fi...