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Carers UK Forum - Search
Hi, just wanted to say you are not alone. My husband is the only child of his mum. She is a widow, her extended family lives 1000 miles away and they would visit every 3 years or so. I'm willing to help a few times a week but MIL does not really accept me. Strong, unhealthy ties with her son. My OH ...
Breezey wrote:
Fri Jul 01, 2022 11:00 pm
hey no worries Jolanta

It is not an easy situation for either of you
I hope you saw my other reply to you which made my response clearer.
Yes, I saw it. It's very informative, thank you.
My meaning was that if he does not have POA and she needs to go into a home but is refusing, then the authorities can intervene and place her in a home if she doesn't have capacity, thus he wouldn't have to be trying to coax or convince her to go or fighting the authorities to get her placed. She w...
hi Jolanta Such a complex push-pull of emotions and frustrations and apron strings. POA for finance i would say is essential and for welfare, however under the circumstances for the latter, it could work in your husbands favour not having POA because the authorities would call the shots and put her...
After two weeks or so of relatively calm time with MIL, yesterday she said she was fed up with carers "giving her god knows what drugs" and "stealing" from her. She is paranoid about the key safe. She talks about carers with a lot of contempt. She told them "my family will look after me" and that pr...
Thank you for your replies. My husband has raised safeguarding issues with SServices and carers' management liaises with MIL to sort out most inflammatory things like personal hygiene. It's all quieter now, thank goodness. I'm glad my OH stepped back a little, not staying overnight as MIL is relativ...
Hi Jolanta ..... Don't let them (or your DH) allow her home without suitable care in place & once she is home, don't let them get to the end of the agreed time (which is usually now 4 weeks) before doing an assessment. If you need further help you need to have time for them to put it in place or th...
Towards the end of her life, my mum was in hospital many times. On one occasion the OT took her back to her bungalow to see how she would manage. There were several steps involved. I was told mum could manage them without any problem. Maybe she could with an OT stood next to her encouraging her, bu...
Jolanta, she should not be discharged home in that state. The NHS has rules about a "safe discharge" and it sounds like these are being ignored. If she needs overnight care, the hospital should arrange it. Thank you. They are not sure yet about the discharge. Physio and OP would like to mobilize he...
Its hard isn't it ... my MIL has 3 sons; I am married to one, another b@ggered off to Australia and the 3rd just b@ggered off ... She has 4x daily care visits a day, but otherwise me and hubby do it all ... lifeline calls, shopping, laundry, paperwork, liaising with other agencies, medical services...