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Carers UK Forum - Search
Your current accommodation is now unsuitable for your father in law. There would need to be a home assessment carried out. However, what you have said here. I definitely not take that route.

Your father in law health and now become the next stage from home care.
“The secret of change
is to focus all of your energy,
not on fighting the old,
but on building the new.”
Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon situation. https://www.sageminder.com/Caregiving/Relationships/RoleReversal.aspx paragraph from the above web page Some signs that you are still in an unhealthy “child” role with an aging parent: You feel guilty if you are not doing what they want you to do You...
It's about capacity to make an informed decision. Do you feel it's pride and/or old age upbringing etc. Don't make a fuss stiff upper lip or a bad experience/s. If your father has capacity it his choice. If you think he lacks capacity. You can ask for a safe guarding(vulnerable adult) social service...
You need a Need Assessment for both of you which Social Services usual complete. If this had been done your daughter could and should still attend college. You both need space away from each other throughout part of a day. This gives you both your own space. An assessment with cover the fact some fo...
You would be surprised how people cope when they have too.

The pendant is a good idea that should be in place quite quickly. This holiday has opened up how much you are already doing. You need extra help going forward and when you return.

Age UK run a be-friendly service speak to you local one.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/for-friends-family/#.XhZf-Ef7TIU from web site Ask about their experience. You could ask them how anxiety affects their day-to-day life, and what makes it better or worse. Listening to their experie...
My partner has recently told me he suffers with anxiety and possible depression

Do you think this statement is a get me out clause or is a warning.

I think you need to delve deeper and ask many more questions.