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Carers UK Forum - Search
They need to check if she "has capacity". If she "has capacity", she can make her own decisions and that includes going home. The hospital argued that my mum had capacity even though she introduced me as her nephew!! I argued that if someone has a dementia diagnosis, that was proof in itself that sh...
Hi Luke, I was in a similar position with my mum. First things first, DO NOT give your job up. This will be your lifeline as time goes by. Sadly, you can't make nan well and if she has dementia, she will get worse. Also, and I had to learn this with my mum, you can't make her happy. Any dementia ass...
So sorry for your loss, Kerry. You did your absolute best as a loving daughter and that is all anyone can ask for. I am sure that your mum was perfectly aware of this too. And yes anger and guilt are most certainly part of the grieving process, not that it makes it any easier to bear. My mum died so...
Hi, A very difficult situation and you do have to think of your own mental health. Personally, I would write to Social Services and your mum's GP expressing your concerns (same letter). Her GP may well refuse to deal with you but they would read a letter. I had to do this myself to get my mum's GP t...
Hi Saffy, This would be difficult under normal circumstances. I can only really see two options of support. Firstly, Social Services - are all care homes now refusing to accept new people in your area? They would be best placed to advise. Even if it were only for respite care, that may be a temporar...
Sorry, forgot to add that if you don't have Power of Attorney for him, now is the time to get it before too late.
Hi Kate, And welcome to the Forum. A difficult one. My mum had vascular dementia (and Alzheimers). I never told her that we were going to a memory clinic - we were going to the GP for a check-up and, as a result of that, she had a scan which confirmed vascular dementia. On the balance, I think it wo...
Hi Silver_freemark, And welcome to the Forum. You will find a friendly bunch here and if you want to chat "over the garden fence" come over to Roll Call on the members section. Your and your husband's life have changed forever and you have had the caring role thrust upon you. It's not surprising you...
Hi Hojo, This must be very distressing for both of you. My mum used to spend her days waiting for "our dad" to return. The problem is whatever you tell her will probably not be remembered in the long run. I think entering into her world and giving little excuses for the return will be easier for you...
I am an ex carer but recall those days (and nights) vividly. I don't have any solutions, If I did, I would have used them myself but my heart goes out to you.

I think it is like caring for a baby, you need to rest when they eventually do