Sorry to hear about your MIL, Jenny. Whatever your feelings, she was part of your life for a very long time and so undoubtedly it will form strange.

Welcome to the Former Carers Club, an odd place to be ...
Henrietta, That is marvellous. Your dad would have been so proud. I think we need more details though, especially about the date. I am over 3 years on and still can't believe that I have weekends free! And when the phone rings, it is not necessarily bad news. There is a life past caring but sometime...
Hi Jacqueline, Sending another virtual hug as I know how exhausting this can be. My mum used to wake me up to go to school at all hours of the night - I was in my 50s at the time! I wonder about discussing this with her GP and whether a mild sleeping draught could be used at night? I know some peopl...
I had this very issue, Sandra, that is the difficulty of proving "capacity" or otherwise. Mum introduced me to the doctor as her nephew but he still thought she had capacity. The issue, Jenny, is that if you have capacity, you can decide to leave a care home at any time and no-one can stop you. Even...
Cat,

I have taken the liberty of posting this in the Condolences section in case some of our members wish to support and have not seen this message.
So sorry, Cat, to hear of your loss. Thanks to you, mum was able to live and die as she wanted which is a wonderful thing. You will be exhausted over the coming weeks and months. I know I was. We will be here for you whenever you want to talk x
Hi Cat,

Thinking of you and your mum at this difficult time.

Others have said it all already. The power of touch and smell are the last senses to go, maybe a hand massage for mum. You have given up much of your life for mum, and done your very best. That is all anyone can ask.

Anne x
Hi Claire, Welcome to the Forum. Your caring load is huge. Your comment about running two houses also struck a chord with me as I was doing that when I looked after my mum. I came to a point when mum's needs were greater than I could satisfy and eventually she too needed nursing care in a home. Do n...
What an impossible situation, Tara. When someone is in the latter stages of Alzheimers, their appetite goes and they often do cease eating. It is impossible for one person (who works and has young children) to care for them and indeed your nan will, sad to say, only get worse. The best place for you...
Stephen, Sorry to hear about your mum. Yes, they will need to access your mum's savings via the Court of Protection. That is more their problem than yours but it may be worth speaking to a solicitor (first hour free of charge) specialising in elderly care on the process. It may also be worth speakin...