Hi Marie I also understand as I cared for my Dad at home after a stroke and subsequent decline over many years. Sorry if you have already done this but please ask your local authority for a needs assessment for your husband and most importantly a separate carers assessment for yourself. It can be di...

Do not get so distracted trying to achieve the near impossible with the CHC route that you overlook the all important 60 landmark. Beg borrow or steal until you reach 60- you are so near that safety zone.

I help out at a memory cafe and someone brought one in one week and one of hour ladies had it on her lap. Her eyes lit up and she looked so pleased and content- wonderful to see.

Excellent Melly.

Hi Chocoholic I would echo the "Safeguarding" advice. Jump and an ddown at Social Services . Lodge a formal safeguarding concern with them and mention "self neglect" , hoarding and "learning disability" if you have not already done so. It is worth doing the same again to a different agency such as G...

G for glitter

Hi Sally I'm a former family carer but speaking on this subject as a professional paid careworker re one of my clients. She has been "End of Life" for at least 18 months, and has been bed bound the whole while, last stages of dementia but one could say plateauing at EOL for 18 months with little cha...

Hi Eileen I cared for far fewer years than you , the first five not realising I was caring and then 5 years of fairly full on care but having come out the other side I don't htink it is possible to step back to where you left off from. Life moves on and caring changes us and it changes our skill set...

Thank you both- yes I think all their friends use it frequently-but not really sure. I like the idea of ***. We have already substituted a few words at home like Giraffes and elephants. I will try to extend this to internet. I'm only on FB to keep an eye on them as lodger got herself into trouble on...

I don't want to sound like Mary Whitehouse but no one has ever sworn in this house before (of the offensive varierty). So far I am doing reasonably well at stopping lodger with learning needs and her boyfriend swearing at home :D -but every time I look at them on face book I am nagging them about po...