As the rules stand at the moment, the key difference between residential care, and 'care at home' is with the former, as we are warning, the councils INSIST on taking into account the capital value of your home, and of 'using it up' until you only have £23,500 in it (and, in fact, right down to £14k...
There are, apparently, annuities you can buy - ie, you fork out a (very large!) capital sum, that is then invested for you, and paid out as an annuity (a yearly income) until you die. BUT, I can't think they are a good idea. For a start, the only way most of us realise the huge capital sum they need...
Maureen, something I didn't mention, but which might now 'make sense' of the way your dad was when he was at home, before this crisis, is 'terminal agitation'. My husband never went through it (thank fully) (but then he was on painkillers and tranquillisers), but it CAN afflict those who are 'near d...
The 'cheapest' way to deal with care in old age is for relatives to do it 'for free'. As in, your daughter looks after you till the end comes 'for free', and then you leave her the house. BUT, again, that begs the dreadful question 'how long'? And, the second question, how MUCH care does one end nee...
I would say you and your daughter need to sit down and have a 'difficult' conversation. If you want her to inherit the house, then you need NOT to go into residential care, or, grimly, you have to 'die soon'....... If we rule out the latter (!), then as Herietta says, it's cheaper to have carers com...
The government keep making stupid promises like 'You'll never have to sell your home to pay for your own care'....but that is just NOT true. You've been quoted £1,250 a week which sounds very high to my mind - are you in the Home Counties or similar? My local 'luxury' care home costs about that! But...
A second mobile phone sounds a really good idea. One for mum which you never answer! (Let it go through to voicemail, which you then check in case of a REAL emergency). One as your 'real' phone.

TF is right - your mum will NEVER be grateful,so give up on that one right away!
If the will splits everything four ways, then make sure you use your PoA to PAY yourself NOW out of Dad's money (and even his estate, see below), for what YOU do, ie, what your siblings DO NOT do! Even if Dad hasn't enough income to pay you, he can give you Notes of Hand - effectively IOUs - to be r...
It can help if we think of the 'awkward elderly' as 'elderly toddlers'. Just as we can be 'firm' with toddlers when they blatantly 'try it on' ('toddler' of course can last right through to teenage!!!!!), so if we see our awkard elder in the same light, it gives us the angle to be firm with them too...
I agree with Mrs A. Cut back on the visits. You can't please him. All that could please him would be for him to be at home with a 'slave' of some kind! That isn't going to happen. One 'good' thing about dementia is that, sigh, eventually, 'the fight goes out of them'. My MIL with dementia kept tryin...