That was more than two thoughts! More kept occurring to me as I typed.

Gareth, two thoughts - Firstly, is this group for survivors of childhood abuse? I would surmise that unless it is, she is unlikely to have the slightest empathy with them, if they have not been through what she has been. And she may well NOT want to tell strangers what happened to her. It's private ...

Insist on the counselling as any condition that he stays AT ALL for even a BIT longer. The reason he is refusing counselling is not because he thinks it's pointless but because he knows full well he'll get it with both barrels from the counsellor, who will see right through him. If you DO let him st...

Helena hi Can I pick your cat expertise brains please? My cat needs a bath ('NO I DO NOT!' I can hear him objecting already!) He got 'pounced on' by another neighbourhood cat, so I presume, as I could hear them hissing at each other (but couldn't get to them), and then shortly afterwards mine came i...

I think a psych visit would be good - also, in the end, whether he is mentally ill (psychotic or whatever it is), or 'just' suffering from dementia, the point is his mind is, as you say 'fried'. At some point he WILL lose legal mental capacity, and then he can be 'moved around like a piece on a ches...

It sounds like residential care is fast looming. Dementia does not go away or lessen, it increases remorseless until your poor mum will be lying in bed staring vacantly at the ceiling, unable to communicate, and doubly incontinent. Finally her poor body and mind will totally 'close down' and the end...

You mention three sisters - make sure YOU and your wife get the 'lion's share' of any inheritance, considering YOU are providing the care! Even if your inlaws are paying you, you are still making a substantial alteration to your lives, while presumably your sisters in laws blithely keep going with t...

I can understand your FIL's anger, but in the end, the alternative is for us, the taxpayers, to pay his wife's care fees! And why should we if the two of them own substantial assets! However, also why should we for folk who have splurged all their money BEFORE they get to the stage of needing expens...

I believe, having read it on this forum at some point, that the key point about whether a spouse-in-care inherits 'the family home' if the spouse-not-in-care dies first, is whether they owned the family (ie, matrimonial) home as joint tenants or tenants in common. If the former, then I think the lat...

Hmm, call me cynical, but I don't think he has any intention of leaving!!!!! This is a 'control' issue - ie, to keep you 'wrong footed' and himself 'in charge'. I just don't see him going back to the UK with his son. Tell his son when he arrives you want him OUT and that is that. Well done on not gi...