Hi Maureen, To give her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps the social worker is blasé because she has so many clients on her books that she just cannot allow herself to feel too much sympathy for any of them. Is Mum fully funded? Much cheaper to have carers –and you of course- than pay for a Home out...

Hi Susan, I used direct payments. My circumstances were that my caree was mainly self funding with a contribution from our LA which was received in the form of direct payments. I employed carers through an agency which meant I was not their employer and did not have to deal with all the paperwork th...

Hi Elaine, Great name –mine too! We share other things too. My Mum moved to a bungalow near me, but from South Wales to Yorkshire, my Mum also had thyroid problems and was hyper during my childhood due to mismanaged dosage. She had had the op to remove half the gland then given thyroxoin and not tes...

Hi Maggie, There will be a record of the prescription and there is your record and also the remaining medication which will clearly prove that you have given him the correct dosage as prescribed, Unless there is any missing? It seems to be a very odd thing for this carer to do. Is there any missing?...

Do what gives you the least stress in these hard circumstances.
Stay home and keep phoning for updates.
Or
Go to Mum, so you know what is happening -or not happening straight away.
I can't guess which would be best so you have to decide.
Hope all is well.
KR

Hi, It's so annoying when this happens. The very odd occasion could, maybe, be forgiven if there's very,very good reason, but a regular habit is not good. Once late, forgivable, missed call NOT. Caree endangered. What proof do you have? The caree's word, obvious things not done? Or are you able to t...

Hi Maureen, Very important, do NOT promise Mum that she will never go in a Home. It’s a very hard promise to break if/when there’s no alternative. Instead say ‘only when we can’t all manage any more.’ DO get yourself clued up on the Homes in the vicinity, check out their ‘ratings’ and go visit some ...

Hi Catherine, I fully sympathise with your husband who no doubt finds it hard enough to have to have care in the first place. All I can offer you is my experience of paying for my Mum’s care, which may be no help whatsoever, but could be a way forward. My Mum would have been completely self funding ...

Dear Allison, Wake up. You are being bullied and abused and just because it’s your parents doing it, doesn’t mean it’s right or acceptable. Start using the word they seem so fond of. ‘NO’. There’s absolutely no need to feel guilty. That’s a reaction which you have been trained to feel. You would be ...

Hi Allison, Lots of familiar bells ringing in your post. Many of us here are in, or have been in, similar scenarios. Was your Mum strict when you were a child? Mine was. Were you brought up to be a good girl and do as you were told? Your Mum is still in that mind set and, although you 60 now, So, to...