Don't block him, let him leave a message, you can delete it if necessary, but it means you take back control rather than letting him ring you all the time. Could the doctor give him something to make him less persistent? It's not good for him to be so distressed.

After years of being conditioned to be a people pleaser, I've come to realise that I've done most of the giving and they did most of the the taking. Not even a get well card when I was having major surgery! Now I've changed by beliefs. I believe we are all responsible for our own happiness. If we do...

Accept some elderly people cannot be satisfied. I wasted many years trying to make my mum happy. Looking back I cannot ever remember her having a happy laugh, ever. Mum was in the best nursing home in the area, spotlessly clean, kind friendly staff, lovely food, like a smart hotel with nusing. I wen...

You both need to put your answer phones on to take control of this.

Put whatever date you feel is appropriate, usually it would be when PIP was awarded I think.
If you put it further back than they will pay, they will soon tell you!
Just get the application in, you've lost enough already.

Such a sad, sad situation.

However his behaviour is not acceptable, and clearly he's very ill. All I can suggest is that you block his phone calls but see him as regularly as you feel able to. Have you spoken to the Matron at the home?

Cloudygal,

"Sustainability" is such a good word to use.

Just because our relatives don't live with us all the time doesn't mean we don't love them. it means there is a team of people to care for them, not one tired, ill carer.

Can you be there when the home visit happens. Make a note of how much help she is given or needs. I doubt that she is capable of being there on her own now. Even if she had four one hour carer visits (which is VERY) unlikely, that still leaves her without carers for 20 hours a day. You may well have...

Laura, IF mum qualifies for NHS Continuing Care, that will pay ALL her care fees for the rest of her life, unless she gets better, which is very unlikely.
Do you live with mum, or have your own place?
Has mum written a will?
(Sorry for all the questions).

As an outsider, she is still like a spider constantly trying to draw you into her web, to do this or that!