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Carers UK Forum - Search
"Doctors are supposed to record everyone who is a carer (and they are paid more by the NHS for each one on their register!) and they are supposed to make reasonable adjustments for them. A while ago I sent my own GP practice manager a copy of the Royal College of GP's or similar explaining all the t...
In some situations it must be better for all concerned to see less of each other. I know I'm happier when I see less of my elderly father - however maybe as the carer becomes more bogged down over time, they are less well received by the caree, so guess it can sometimes (but rarely) work both ways -...
Notamartyr - I hear you and feel the same - resentful doesn't begin to describe it. I feel guilty if I don't care for my elderly, grieving, sick father BUT he doesn't feel one jot of guilt about how he impacts on my life. Once I overheard him saying that my caring for him was 'payback'. Payback for ...
Shewolf - thanks for your thoughts. I think my father does have some form of undiagnosed dementia - however he's as sharp as a tack with regard to anything associated with money - how can that be? - and won't spend any of it, or his Attendance Allowance. Oh no, he wants to squirrel his money away fo...
Just re-reading this thread - as going through a particularly awful time with my father. His health deteriorated and for a while he was slightly more bearable as he was so weakened - now he is somewhat recovered, he's back to his vile, negative, argumentative, critical self. Our relationship seems t...
I'm re-reading yet again all the fantastic wise advice and thoughts on this thread of the 'experienced' - Thank You All. BowlingBun, I'm going to work hard on dumping the Guilt. I realise it is a long process for carers to allow themselves permission to "reclaim" their life (and happiness) so as not...
Bowlingbun - such good points - allowing yourself permission to say NO and a right to your own life (without a demanding parent constantly steamrollering over your life). It's the putting it into practice ... the constant Guilt and Resentment battle. Emotional distance is what I crave. I've spent my...
PS: I did have some strong words with my father a while back and told him that he is difficult o speak to on the phone as he doesn't listen, it's all one way and a conversation needs to be two way as I need to find out information from him - his reply was that what I had to say was "boring". Just gr...
**THANK YOU** All so much for taking the time to reply with such fantastic advice, comments and kind words Haitch, sorry to read you are stuck in a similar awful situation with your ungrateful and ungracious mother. Haitch and Jenny - such wise words - "I have come to the conclusion that what is wit...
Thank you for your kind words - sorry I have not replied - feeling very run down at the moment and awaiting a medical investigative procedure that is making me feel worse. My mind is blocked and I find it hard to type and explain things clearly. Jenny, the situation with my elder estranged sister an...