Hi Joes, I actually would agree with you that it ends up being the Caree that seems to have to provide 'permission' for the Carer to have some respite in a lot of cases. It's that horrible feeling of knowing that the Caree will be miserable/angry/upset/resentful if you take some time for yourself (w...

Unfortunately, this is also the case for the CHC assessments, though. Even though they know that MND is a terminal illness (i.e. there are never any 'better' days, you just get worse every day), they still insist upon doing the 3-monthly (and then yearly) re-assessments to see if the individual is '...

Hi Joes, In my case, it's definitely the Caree that calls the shots. Even now she is in a nursing home, she still demands that I visit every day after work and stay, doing different jobs for her, including after her 'final' call to the carers for the evening (i.e. toileting and getting changed for b...

Hi Ruth, I'm a similar age to you (26) and it's my Gran that is my Caree (she has Motor Neuron Disease, which is in the Parkinson's 'Family'). I felt compelled to reply to you because I wanted to let you know that you're not alone in what you're going through- I have family members that are never th...

Hi Joes, I'll answer the three questions below: 1) Absolutely, yes. I think most people on this forum can say that their caree (especially if the caree is not a child of the carer) initially refuses to have 'outside help' coming in to the house. It's like a stage of denial that the caree seems to go...

It's horrendous to deal with people like this- they do not listen to other people, as their opinion is, to them, the only one that matters and must therefore be the 'right one'. However, I assume you want some sort of relationship with both of your parents, so I'd suggest the following: State that, ...

Hi Dylan, It's brilliant that you're using healthy ways to divert your attention from Mum. In a way, what you're experiencing is similar to grief and the fact the first/last thing on your mind each day is Mum cements that similarity. This goes against everything that we're told by the professionals,...

Hi, What an awful situation for you- you are to be commended for how well you're looking out for Mum. I don't know if this will breach confidentiality, but I'd suggest speaking to Mum's professional team that have been coming to the house, if possible. Try and ascertain from them what they think (af...

Hi Dan, I personally suffer with the same issue as your wife in that I get panic attacks when I go to bed, with obtrusive thoughts of dying. It really does make it impossible to sleep. However, I did read up on panic attacks and found the following quite useful: Get her to look around and quickly na...

Hi Chris, I didn't want to read and run, but I did want to let you know that you're not alone in this type of predicament. I don't know if it's a generational thing or if it's just that some people have the kind of personality that means they cannot see past their own needs, but it's so unfair that ...