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Carers UK Forum - Search
Hi Blue, Are you selfish for feeling that way? No. We all need to think of our needs also. And as carers, we tend to be poor at self-care. Does anyone else feel this way? Yes, most of us probably. I certainly felt that way almost all the time. And, worse than that, I felt like I had failed as my wif...
Was once told that after a bad day, the next day you should dress smartly and wear your favourite fragrance. Despite all we go through as carers, we are allowed one day when we feel special - even if you don't leave the house! And.. I used to find that the lingering scent brought an internal joy to ...
An update for all those who kindly contributed to this thread... I stayed with my wife through all of lockdown, and spent much time with my youngest daughter. It was time well spent, and we managed to really get working on my daughter's MH. She still has relapses, but is generally doing well. My wif...
Hi bowlingbun and Karen. Thank you for your thoughts. Some good points. I think you would both benefit from marriage counselling. Tried it before (nearly) many years ago. By the time we got to Relate office, I had agreed that it was all my fault and I would try to be a better husband - we never even...
Thanks all for your thoughts and support. BB - I find I'm most happy when I look after myself better. The "mistake" I made over many years was to try and make sure my wife was happy to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. The problem was that she was rarely happy even then, so it was just ...
Hard to know quite how to write this, but I'm sure you'll all forgive me if I get the words a bit wrong. I've now been a carer for my wife for over 25 years out of the 27 we've been married. The bulk of those years have featured some form of mental health crisis (including at least 12 acute admissio...
I have one room that must be tidy and clean all the time. And then that is my sanctuary when the rest get too much. My wife (my caree!) is a clutter-bunny and loves to cover every surface with paperwork, ornaments or, in the event of failing inspiration, used crockery. My kitchen/dinner is my sanctu...
Hi Sunny, and thanks for your post. I read the thread a couple of days ago, and was then prompted to go and read up on codependency. I don't have any advice to give specifically, but felt I should write so that it's clear there are others in the same place, and can understand how challenging the dec...
Some time has passed, so an update for anyone interested. My wife was discharged last Friday and is struggling to make progress, but is at least stable. Which is normal from past experience. My daughter has responded fantastically well to several weeks of almost undivided attention. Although she has...
Hi again. Sorry it's taken me a while to get back. I've tried writing and re-writing this, but I'm going around in circles. I hope all has gone as well as it could for the last few days for you. No advice here, just my experiences. 1. The majority of people suffering these episodes appear to get "be...