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Carers UK Forum - Search
Hi bowlingbun and Karen. Thank you for your thoughts. Some good points. I think you would both benefit from marriage counselling. Tried it before (nearly) many years ago. By the time we got to Relate office, I had agreed that it was all my fault and I would try to be a better husband - we never even...
Thanks all for your thoughts and support. BB - I find I'm most happy when I look after myself better. The "mistake" I made over many years was to try and make sure my wife was happy to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. The problem was that she was rarely happy even then, so it was just ...
Hard to know quite how to write this, but I'm sure you'll all forgive me if I get the words a bit wrong. I've now been a carer for my wife for over 25 years out of the 27 we've been married. The bulk of those years have featured some form of mental health crisis (including at least 12 acute admissio...
I have one room that must be tidy and clean all the time. And then that is my sanctuary when the rest get too much. My wife (my caree!) is a clutter-bunny and loves to cover every surface with paperwork, ornaments or, in the event of failing inspiration, used crockery. My kitchen/dinner is my sanctu...
Hi Sunny, and thanks for your post. I read the thread a couple of days ago, and was then prompted to go and read up on codependency. I don't have any advice to give specifically, but felt I should write so that it's clear there are others in the same place, and can understand how challenging the dec...
Some time has passed, so an update for anyone interested. My wife was discharged last Friday and is struggling to make progress, but is at least stable. Which is normal from past experience. My daughter has responded fantastically well to several weeks of almost undivided attention. Although she has...
Hi again. Sorry it's taken me a while to get back. I've tried writing and re-writing this, but I'm going around in circles. I hope all has gone as well as it could for the last few days for you. No advice here, just my experiences. 1. The majority of people suffering these episodes appear to get "be...
Hi. There's much I could say on this, but I think I need time to make a considered response. There's so much to get wrong on this. To answer your first question, yes I've been there. In fact, I'm broadly there again at the moment. For now, make sure you and your daughters are the absolute centre of ...
Joanna, A few things I have found help me over the last couple of years: Try and dress nicely every single day. And if you don't, doesn't matter. Wear a nice fragrance every day. And have different ones for different moods. One food-treat each week - mine is often bacon sandwich. Find those colleagu...
Thanks for the replies. I have reflected on what both you both said. You're right - if she'd wanted a secret joint there are many, many ways she could have done that far more easily. I'm guessing it was an attempt to get her mother to pay attention to her, but she got caught on the hop when I got ho...