Our agency (East Anglia) started at 7 am. (As it happens, our preference was for a later morning slot, but I know the 7 am was true because at least once they came then.)

Bebi even if you choose to continue some aspects of your father’s care you do not have to do the personal care. I was my husband’s carer and still had agency carers in to help him wash and dress. As bowlingbun says, a Needs Assessment is the way to go (they will also do a carer’s assessment for you,...

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s no wonder you are exhausted. I’m afraid I simply can’t help with the practical side (my caring was in totally different circumstances). I just wanted to make sure you knew your post hadn’t gone into a black hole. I hope that tomorrow there will be others reading who hav...

I am sorry for you all, that you are in this position.

Outside help can help achieve all kinds of things, including making it easier to go out, or keep the house clean and get the washing done. It doesn’t have to be personal care and it doesn’t have to replace family, it can be an add-on.

Hello Monica These two things I do have some experience of. My late husband had care from the reablement team. The benefit was that they did encourage him to do as much for himself as possible; in other words they lived up to their name. In fact, when they stopped we went on to have paid carers to g...

However have you kept going so long? I have nothing but admiration for what you have been doing. I myself have not dealt with anything so extreme (I would have called my own mother difficult, but no more than that). I am posting so you know someone is reading and I am sure others who can relate more...

May I suggest one practical thing if you do want to keep visiting? Leave the room every time your husband does. If he goes to the loo, discover you must fetch something from the car. If he is given a job to do, go and watch. That way you avoid the diatribes that start the minute you are left alone. ...

Your honesty, Pet, and that of all posters here, continues to be a help and an inspiration to me. My beloved husband died 18 months ago and I had been his carer for only a little over 2 years, but I am not coping too well and reading your experiences gives me a better perspective. Thank you.

Dear Linda I am so sorry. I have been in those shoes. Many of us will understand - we can just be here so you can say whatever you feel, or we can try to to respond if you have questions. As Melly1 says, Macmillan has much to offer or if your husband has a Specialist Nurse in his Oncology team they ...

Sorry, I can't comment on the ear ones. For DH I used a Braun Digital Stick thermometer under his arm. Obviously that gives a slightly different reading but we had time to get a baseline by doing it for several days before treatment started.