Oh dear, Polly, that is a nightmare for you both. I am sorry. When others read your post there will be people who have experience of parents in hospital and what might happen next. My own caring experience is different, but I can suggest that once the immediate treatment has been done, one possibili...

I had a card for my local scheme; I was able to set it up online. It was crucial for my peace of mind because my caree had a severe speech loss so could not have asked for help if anything happened to me. I had to set out exactly what caring I did and that went onto the system. Fortunately I never h...

Oh yes, guilt goes with bereavement. Every story I hear, whether from an ex-carer (which I am as well) or from someone whose loved one died suddenly with no warning, includes feelings of guilt. Gradually they pass, but they can return out of the blue. From the outside, you did more than I feel I cou...

Well done, Tracey. The other. thing I have learned from advice here is that when the discharge is finally arranged you should not sign anything about care or accommodation (or at least not until you have understood it and got advice on it) - that is because you don't have to pay anything, it is not ...

I can only answer about bed pads; I have no experience of medication. If using the disposable ones, don't get the smallest ones as they get rucked up and shift across the bed and then the sheets need changing anyway. If you can afford the bigger ones, they worked well for us. However in the end I fo...

I am going to raise a couple of practical questions, not related to benefits. (My late husband had seizures caused by a brain tumour and then a stroke, but I do recognise that your and your partner's experience will be different, so please ignore anything which is not helpful to you.) Firstly, has y...

Hi Sally I am delighted to see you talk about supporting carers as well as patients. When we were contacted by the local palliative care team, they explained they were there for 'difficult questions' as we'll as pain relief etc. OH did not need their physical care or medication at that point and dec...

Since it sounds as if the injections could be given at the hospital (although her father wouldn't like it!) could your s-i-l ask about patient transport so he could be taken there each time without her. (She might have to be pushy to organise it, but there is usually an official transport service fo...

Andrew, I am so sorry for your loss. I am further down the road: my beloved husband died almost two years ago. I had been his carer for two years before that (he had a brain tumour). I feel that, in the early months, I had to adjust to the loss of being a carer (which had been my focus for so long) ...

Well done Tracey, you’ve done what you had to do. There will be others here who know how to help you through what comes next (I don’t know enough to do that) but you’ve taken that first step.