John I'd change the thought "my life is effectively over" to "my life may be on hold for a while but it will resume". As her dementia is worsening rapidly it will not be long before either residential care or her passing. BUT just in case nature is cruel for both of you and it goes on you must start...
John Bayfield wrote:
Wed Jun 26, 2019 9:19 pm
My mum told all the nurses at her therapy group I’d just got out of prison after a very long time.
Obviously not in for matricide!

(Spell checker didn't know matricide. .. what are standards dropping to these days :ohmy: )
My FIL ended up in a residential home, fully compos mentis , purely because his legs had got so frail he couldn't stand up any more. Sometimes the bodies just get too old. (Btw this was 15 years ago, now days he'd be sent home, told to stay still and have carers...all of which he'd ignore and keep f...
My sister is unable to leave house on her own and during recent fire drills got upset at the noise and sat down. She unable to use a phone or emergency button to call for help should she become unwell or something ......her life and friends are where she lives (,I'm 2 hour drive away,) Anyone had a...
Shared Lives is not a permanent thing, should be regarded as a stepping stone to something else. It's used here, OK until the carer changes her mind or gets ill. Or until the caree's needs increase, or are misrepresented from the start. Its ok to offer your home to someone needing just a little sup...
Hello Julie It is certain something must change, but only you can decide what. It sounds like your life has been dictated to by circumstances or others for some time now, and maybe now is the time to start doing something about it and regaining some control. Some points for you to ponder, not necess...
Hi Julie Please remember that the Samaritans are always there to listen to you. https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/ Here in the forum answers can be sporadic, but Samaritans are there 24/7.. I'm sorry you are having to wait so long for face to face counselling. I had some o...
It's not unusual for the very elderly to start to want to do less and less. Everything begins to be an effort and they often chose not to make that effort. If Nan doesn't what a change of scenery and/or fresh air then so be it. BUT that should not stop you having and doing what you need. You need a ...
Yes I remember lots of odd feelings. The first few times I just sat numb and battered in a coffee shop. it's like being redundant. Must be even harder as you don't know when he will be out again. If you are sure he's going to be in for a while, could you sneak in a a quick break away, a visit to fam...