Following on from what Shaun has just said I think one of the most powerful phrases I use when dealing with my father is "You have a choice." Then setting out the options. Setting out the options clearly and calmly allows both of us time to reflect and each can be tested. We have had difficult end o...

I am sure you have a handle on this but one thing to think about when out is whether he needs the loo. My father has Vascular dementia and as part of his package of medications has diuretics. Most of the time he is able to manage and get to the loo in time but I have noticed that outings seem to ups...

Dear Lisa, a lot of this comes down to the arrangements you made at the time the house was bought and how the ownership of the funds was described. Your solicitor should have advised you and should have made sure your father and you each had a will and, even more importantly, power of attorney and t...

Hello Kirstie, others will be much better placed than I to comment on the adaptations to the inside (but remember to claim back VAT on anything you pay for for the bathroom). If the garden has a slope it might be much simpler to "go with the flow" of it and do something that your daughter would enjo...

My 84 year old Dad had implants done a couple of years ago. They have been OK but I have made sure he has had quarterly visits to the hygienist to make sure that they are staying clean (he has mild dementia and his brushing technique, even with an electric tooth bush and prompting from his carers is...

It may also be worthwhile joining a union if there is one covering your work area. In my experience they are pretty good at helping negotiate reasonable adjustments and can be very practical sources of advice specific to your work area and employer. Good union reps will help you work out what you ca...

Sometimes the line "Mum I know you don't need this but my brother and I worry so, yes it is silly of us, but it would make us much happier if we knew that you were getting some help in the house. It would also mean that when we come and see you we can do fun things, not spend time on chores..." The ...

My Dad was initially very reluctant to have carers but was cheered up when we referred to them as providing a valet service... He gets woken, given his pills, ushered through the shower, shave etc and has the stuff put on his skin to stop ulcers and they help him select the clothes he is going to we...

Elaine is right about the declaration the plumber needs to keep on file. The sole use element is a bit of a red herring: if the alteration was in a home occupied by a disabled person on their own it does not mean no visitor or carer can use the loo... The tiles and other bits and pieces, including w...

Just check you claim it for the tiles and other kit like the bath. If the plumber is providing it all VAT free then great but if you are ordering stuff elsewhere then claim!