I love the sense of humour (sometimes black) that comes through on here. I have been desperate at times but thankfully have found Forum a huge support. Thankfully I have found friends over the last couple of years who no longer care, but have cared for parents in the past so do understand! I care fo...

Agree with all the comments but you have all my sympathy. My husband is much older than me and is now 83. He too would not even consider respite care when I needed the re wiring done for safety reasons. In the end we just went for the lighting re wiring but really we should have had the whole lot do...

From the experience with regard to friends and family, would agree with hospice. Usually the visiting hours are much more flexible, and staff trained in 'end of life care' and they understand the 'quality of life' and have chosen to work in this field. Also they may well provide counselling for YOU ...

I cannot add anything as totally agree with the comments given by Breezy, BB and Charles. I personally do not agree with prolonging life at any cost, and feel your husbands wishes should be respected by the medical profession given his age and co morbidities. Sending hugs as next few days/weeks are ...

Hi Tom Welcome. I am the Carer of my 83 year old husband - he too had alcohol issues and at his worse drank a litre of vodka a day. I am much younger. He drinks much less now but the damage to his body has been done. He is also mega difficult and medically non compliant. I totally agree with the com...

Hello Mandy I am a fellow only child so you have all of my sympathy. At the end of the day, you can only do your best and prompt so far with regard to your father. You could consider writing to his GP and mentioning that your father's depression is not good and maybe a change in medication might hel...

Hello - I can relate to your post. My husband is much older than myself and I am now his carer. He too can mask his personality in public but he is still a vicious controlling old man. He has often said no one would believe me if I confided in people and did his best to isolate me. He still really r...

No words but agree with Breezy it does give you more time to get your head round the situation. It may well be worth ringing your local Carers group - if you have one to get local support? Is there anyone who would go with you for the next meeting? I think it takes time to arrange an Advocate but wo...

Please let us know how you get on tomorrow. I do feel for you . But I do agree, that your life will become unbearable if you have him back and it really does sound as if he needs 24/7 care. BB's advice is good re the CHC assessment.

To the best of my knowledge they cannot touch your savings. With joint savings, I think they can only assess his half of the fund but hopefully others will be able to clarify.